We frequently hear and read about the excessive use of technology among young people, but what about us, as parents and caregivers? Are we demonstrating appropriate technology use for our children? What message are we conveying when our kids seek our attention, but we are more focused on our own devices rather than on them?
As parents and caregivers, we are the first and most important educators in our children’s lives. This is especially true during the early years when a child’s development is at its peak. From the moment a child is born, parents and caregivers are their primary teachers. Every smile, word, and gesture from us is a lesson for them, shaping their cognitive, emotional, and social development. Simple activities like talking, reading, and playing with our children can significantly impact their language skills, critical thinking, and ability to form healthy relationships. For instance, reading a bedtime story not only enhances their vocabulary but also strengthens the emotional bond between parent and child, creating a sense of security and love.
Parents play a crucial role in developing their children’s language, cognitive skills, and emotional regulation. If parents are distracted because of their use of technology, children miss out on important conversational input, which is vital for their understanding of the world. Yes, in today’s onlife world, balanced parenting is a challenge. However, we must remember that parents and caregivers provide essential guidance and support, whether helping with schoolwork or teaching emotional management. More screen use on our part means less time for other activities and interactions with our kiddos.
In today’s onlife world, it’s easy for parents and caregivers to become engrossed in their devices – something that we see all the time. At a recent elementary school sporting event we attended, we witnessed many parents who had their heads buried in their phones instead of watching their kids on the field. When we are disengaged, especially when our children seek our attention, it can have detrimental effects. Children are perceptive and can feel when they are being ignored or when their need for connection is not being met, leading to feelings of insecurity and affecting their self-esteem and emotional well-being.
A major issue with parents’ use of technology is their tendency to give children half-hearted attention while scrolling through their social media and messages. Imagine a child excitedly showing a drawing to their parent, only to receive a distracted nod as the parent scrolls through their phone. The child might feel that their effort and creativity are unimportant, potentially diminishing their enthusiasm for sharing and seeking validation in the future. Being present and attentive is vital. When a child looks up to find a parent more interested in their phone than in them, it sends a subconscious message to them about their value and importance. Consistently prioritizing our devices over our children can hinder their development, as they may begin to model this behavior, leading to their own issues with attention and engagement in the future with their use of technology.
To effectively support our children emotional, psychological, and social growth, we must be attentive and responsive to their needs and interests. Our active involvement provides the scaffolding they need to explore, learn, and develop new skills. For example, if a child is learning to ride a bike, a parent’s encouragement and support help them balance and pedal independently, gradually reducing assistance as the child gains confidence and skill. Remember, when it comes to our use of technology as a parent or caregiver, here are three important points:
- Establish specific times of the day when devices are put away, such as during meals or before bedtime. Use this time to talk, play, and connect with your child. This routine not only fosters communication but also emphasizes the importance of family time.
- When interacting with your child, put your devices down and give them your full attention. Make eye contact, listen actively, and show interest in their activities and stories. For example, if your child is telling you about their day at school, respond with questions and comments that show you are genuinely engaged.
- Demonstrate and model the behavior you want to see in your child when using technology. Show them how to engage with the world around them by being curious, patient, and enthusiastic about learning. For instance, use your devices to look up information together, explore educational apps, or set time limits on screen use to encourage balance.
As parents and caregivers, we have the unique opportunity to shape our children’s early experiences and development. By putting our devices down and being engaged, attentive, and supportive, we can help our kiddos navigate today’s onlife world, fostering a love for learning and a strong foundation for their future. Let’s embrace our role as parents, caregivers, and the “first educator” and commit to being present for our children, nurturing their growth and development every step of the way instead of being on our devices all the time. Through our conscious efforts, we can ensure that our children feel valued, secure, and ready to explore the world around them with confidence and curiosity.
Remember, when parents and caregivers are disengaged or distracted by technology and not giving their children the attention they are seeking, it negatively affects their development and more importantly, we are modeling poor technology habits.
Digital Food For Thought
The White Hatter
