Yes, parenting in today’s onlife world has its challenges and uncertainties. For some parents and caregivers, the solution to these challenges seems simple – give kids a childhood just like their own by removing their technology. This nostalgic yearning often frames modern technology and social media as a threat to an idealized version of a parent or caregiver’s childhood, a time filled with outdoor play, face-to-face friendships, and minimal screen use, if any. While this perspective is understandable, it’s important to recognize that romanticizing the past can lead to family conflict, flawed policies, flawed legislation, and strategies that may not serve today’s youth.
The onlife world we live in today is fundamentally different from the one we grew up in. The rise of the internet, smartphones, social media, and now artificial intelligence has transformed how people communicate, learn, and connect. While it’s tempting to wish for a “simpler” time where this technology did not exist, we must acknowledge that these tools are now ubiquitous to how much of society functions today.
For example, when parents and caregivers reminisce about the “good old days,” they might point to the time they spent riding bikes with friends. However, today’s youth may be collaborating on projects or learning to code with peers online. While these activities differ in form, they share the same essence – creativity, collaboration, and fun. Insisting on outdoor play as the only “valid” type of childhood experience discounts the value of modern balanced digital interactions. As well, and contrary to what some believe, the vast majority of youth today are still engaging in outdoor play and activities (1)(2)
Today, youth are not just passive users of technology, they are growing up in a world where digital skills can provide employment opportunities that weren’t available in earlier times. (3) Trying to recreate a childhood without these tools is akin to asking children from decades past to thrive without books, telephones, or access to libraries. Instead of fearing technology, parents and caregivers need to focus on teaching children how to use it responsibly and effectively.
When anxiety about technology and social media drives decision-making, it often results in poorly designed legislation. Take, for example, proposals to ban certain platforms, restrict device use, or enforce sweeping limitations on digital access for youth, like what is being proposed in Australia. While these ideas may appeal to parents and caregivers concerned about online dangers, they often overlook the benefits of technology and the nuances of modern digital life.
For instance, banning social media entirely could isolate teens from valuable learning opportunities, peer connections, and even positive social activism. Similarly, overly restrictive laws might push young people toward unsafe, unregulated corners of the internet. These reactive measures fail to address the root issues – lack of digital literacy education, insufficient parental involvement (4)(5), and the need for teaching balanced digital habits.
The desire to recreate a familiar childhood often stems from nostalgia, not evidence. Yes, playing outside until the streetlights came on and chatting on a landline are fond memories for many parents and caregivers, including ourselves, who did not grow up with technology, but they were not without their risks. Sexual predation, bullying, and other challenges existed long before the internet. However, it is important to acknowledge that technology and the internet has allowed these threat greater access to our kids.
The same principle applies today. The risks of social media such as cyberbullying, exposure to inappropriate content, and privacy concerns, are real but also manageable. Instead of trying to shield children entirely, parents and caregivers should focus on equipping them with the tools they need to navigate these challenges, thus helping them to build resiliency in today’s onlife world.
Here’s what we believe parents and caregivers can do to support their children in this new onlife landscape:
- Embrace digital literacy – Teach kids about privacy, cyberbullying, and responsible online behavior. These skills are as critical today as knowing how to cross the street safely.
- Model healthy habits – Children learn by example. Demonstrate balanced technology use and show them how to prioritize meaningful, offline experiences.
- Stay informed – Understand the platforms your children are using and the potential risks and benefits they offer.
- Collaborate, Don’t Control – Instead of enforcing strict bans, work with your child to set boundaries that make sense for your family.
- Right Tech, Right Time – choose to allow your child to use technology that is age and developmentally appropriate.
- Advocate for smart policies and legislation – Support initiatives that promote digital literacy and protect children online without resorting to blanket bans or fear-driven restrictions.
Rather than trying to reclaim a childhood that no longer exists, let’s focus on creating a world where children can thrive in the present and into the future. Technology isn’t the enemy – ignorance and fear are. (6) By embracing a balanced, thoughtful approach, we can help our children navigate the onlife world with confidence and resilience and prepare them for the onlife world they are growing up in, not the one we left behind.
Clinging to an idealized version of the past can hinder our ability to guide children effectively in today’s onlife landscape. The world has changed, and our approaches to parenting, education, and legislation must evolve with it. Rather than fearing technology or attempting to recreate a bygone era, we must focus on equipping children with the tools and skills they need to thrive in the present and future.
By embracing digital literacy, modeling healthy habits, staying informed, collaborating with our children, and advocating for evidence-based policies, we can create an environment that balances the benefits and risks of technology. It’s not about choosing between the past and the present – it’s about preparing our children for a world that’s continually changing, ensuring they grow up confident, capable, and ready to navigate their onlife future. Let’s move forward with understanding, not nostalgia, and help shape a world where our children can succeed on their terms.
This approach requires a shift in perspective, away from fear-driven reactions and toward proactive, informed engagement. Instead of longing for a world without technology, we should aim to teach our children how to use it thoughtfully and responsibly. Just as past generations prepared youth to navigate the challenges of their time, we must prepare ours for the realities of today’s onlife world.
The challenges are real, but so are the opportunities. Technology can be a powerful tool for connection, learning, and creativity when used mindfully. By fostering open communication, promoting critical thinking, and empowering children to make responsible choices through digital literacy education, we can help them harness the positive aspects of technology while mitigating its risks.
Ultimately, our goal should not be to recreate an idyllic past but to equip our children to thrive in their present and into their future. Nostalgia may be comforting, but it is no substitute for the thoughtful, evidence-based strategies needed to guide the next generation. The future is digital, and by embracing it with confidence and care, we can ensure our children are ready to meet it head-on, empowered to make the most of the tools at their disposal while navigating the challenges responsibly. Together, let’s build a world where they can flourish both on and offline.
As parents and caregivers, it’s our responsibility to lead with clarity, not nostalgia. Instead of letting fear dictate our choices, let’s champion informed, evidence-based decisions that empower the next generation. After all, our goal isn’t to replicate the past, it’s to prepare our children for the present and the future.
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References:
6/ https://thewhitehatter.ca/blog/ding-juvenoia-moral-panic-its-impact-on-onlife-parenting/
