As parents and caregivers, it’s natural to want to protect our children, especially in a rapidly evolving digital landscape. The internet, social media, and technology present a mix of risks and opportunities, and many of us feel an urge to lay down strict rules or limit usage to shield our children from potential harm. But there’s an essential perspective we may be missing – our kids’ own voices.
By focusing less on strict control and more on open dialogue, we can better understand the unique needs and concerns our kids face online. Instead of jumping to conclusions or imposing blanket restrictions, there’s great value in listening to young people and asking where they genuinely need guidance, support, or understanding.
Kids and teens today have grown up in a world where digital devices and the internet are simply a part of daily life – something we call the “onlife” world. They view technology less as a novelty and more as a means of connection, learning, self-expression, and yes entertainment. Rather than treating them as passive users or potential victims, we should recognize that they often have a sophisticated understanding and perspective of these tools, platforms, and trends.
When we ask young people about their experiences, we gain insight into how they navigate online spaces. Are they facing issues with privacy? Do they feel peer pressure to present a certain image? Are they comfortable managing their time and attention online? Rather than assuming we know the answers, asking these questions opens the door to understanding their specific challenges and perspectives.
Kids are less likely to share their online experiences if they feel they will be judged, punished, or dismissed. On the other hand, creating a safe space for conversation can encourage them to be open about any challenges they encounter. When we lead with empathy and show a genuine interest in their online lives, it helps establish trust. This trust makes it more likely they’ll come to us when they face issues or need support.
While it might feel comforting to set strict limits on tech and internet use, the reality is that young people still find ways to access technology. Rather than enforcing rigid rules, which can sometimes drive them to hide their activity, instead consider focusing on guidance and education. Discuss digital literacy and online safety, the importance of privacy, and the impact of digital dossiers. These conversations empower kids to make informed decisions and navigate the online world with greater awareness – in other words it helps them to build onlife agency.
Asking where they feel uncertain or need help allows us to be a resource rather than a barrier. Perhaps they need help understanding privacy settings, coping with online bullying, or handling peer pressure on social media. Meeting them at their level of need is often more effective than making assumptions about where they require boundaries.
As adults, it’s challenging to keep up with the pace of technology. Platforms, apps, and digital trends change constantly, and it can be difficult to stay informed. Youth, however, are often at the forefront of these trends. By listening to them, we gain insight into what’s currently relevant and potentially risky. Remember, when we share our concerns with our kids about their onlife world, we should do so in a way that ties into where they are today and is relevant to their life and appeals to their intelligence and experience – this will help them make good onlife decisions
As an example, rather than fearing the latest popular app, we can ask our children what they like about it. Why is it appealing? What do they use it for? In doing so, we’re learning from them and getting an inside look into emerging tech trends, which helps us offer relevant guidance and support. Our kids have a lot to offer us as parents and adults, we just need to be willing to listen.
When we take a respectful, curious approach to their technology use, we model the kind of relationship we hope they’ll have with the onlife world. Instead of seeing the internet as a source of constant threats, they learn to view it as a tool that they can navigate responsibly and with confidence. By demonstrating open-mindedness, we empower them to approach new online situations thoughtfully, equipped with the values and principles we’ve helped them develop.
So, what are some practical tips for us parents and caregivers when it comes to listening and supporting youth online?
- Set aside judgment and ask questions like, “What apps do you enjoy using the most?” or “Have you seen anything online that worries you?” This lets them share without fear of reprimand.
- Rather than dictating usage, encourage them to reflect on their own experience: “How does spending time on social media make you feel?” or “What would you change about online interactions?”
- Provide them with trusted resources that can help them make safe online choices. This could be articles on digital safety, online privacy guides, or even podcasts and videos created for their age group – we offer all these on our website at www.thewhitehatter.ca
- Let them know you’re there to support them if they ever need help navigating tough online situations. Reinforce that they can always come to you without judgment, even if something goes wrong.
In a world where the digital landscape is both a source of opportunity and a potential minefield, listening to our kids’ perspectives on technology and the internet is essential. By respecting their knowledge and valuing their experiences, we create an environment where they feel empowered, respected, and more likely to seek our guidance when challenges arise. This approach not only strengthens our relationships with them but also helps us stay connected to the ever-evolving digital trends that shape their lives. Embracing a “redirect and pave the way” mindset allows us to guide them towards safer, confident, and responsible digital use, helping them become thoughtful, informed participants in the onlife world, and giving us peace of mind that they’re equipped to navigate it with integrity and awareness.
Ultimately, fostering open dialogue and mutual respect in our approach to technology equips our kids with critical skills that will serve them far beyond their screens. By showing them that their voices matter, we model a proactive, responsible relationship with technology that they can carry into adulthood. We’re not only helping them navigate online spaces today but also teaching them how to assess risks, make informed choices, and seek support when needed in the future.
This approach challenges the traditional “parent or caregiver knows best” mentality by recognizing that in the onlife world, young people often have unique insights we can learn from. When we make room for their perspectives, we’re bridging the gap between generations and building a shared foundation of trust and understanding. So, let’s continue to ask, listen, and learn from our children, allowing their needs to guide our support. In doing so, we can truly become the mentors they need – partners in their journey through the onlife world, empowering them to thrive, explore, and innovate with confidence.
By treating our children as capable, informed voices in the onlife world, we can foster a sense of mutual respect and learning. This “redirect and pave the way approach” not only enhances our understanding but strengthens our relationships with our kids, allowing us to be the supportive guides they truly need as they grow up in today’s onlife world. Listening and asking how we can help empowers them and in turn, prepares them to navigate technology responsibly, confidently, and safely.
Digital Food For Thought
The White Hatter
Facts Not Fear, Facts Not Emotions, Enlighten Not Frighten, Know Tech Not No Tech
