Before the advent of the internet and cellphones, youth and teens were already engaging in conversations about sensitive topics such as sex, pornography, inter personal conflict, and school rumours. When we reflect back to our middle school and high school days, our conversations with friends were just as spicy as they are today. However, these conversations took place in private settings such as on the bus ride home, whispered in corners of the playground during recess, at sleepovers under dim lights, or through the passing of handwritten notes folded in class. These moments were fleeting, confined to the individuals present, and often forgotten after they were shared.
Today, these same conversations are still happening, but with a significant difference; they are mediated through technology and social media platforms, transforming their nature, permanence, and potential impact.
In the pre-digital era, privacy was mostly inherent. Conversations lived and died in the moment they were spoken. Notes, while tangible, could be destroyed or lost, leaving no trace. This temporary nature offered a layer of protection; mistakes and embarrassing moments were less likely to follow a youth or teen for life.
Now, technology has often made these interactions permanent. Messages sent in group chats, private texts, or on social media platforms, no matter what the privacy settings, are often recorded indefinitely. Screenshots and screen recordings have turned once-private conversations into shareable, duplicable files that can spread far beyond their original audience. The inherent privacy of the playground chatter has been replaced with the public and often un-erasable nature of digital communication.
Another stark difference in today’s onlife world is the monetization of these interactions. Social media platforms and tech companies profit from the data generated by users, including youth. Private conversations about sensitive topics, whether through direct messages, comments, or likes, are analyzed and used to target ads or influence algorithms. For instance, a teen discussing body image might unknowingly prompt advertisements for diet products or gym memberships.
This intrusion into what should be private conversations is a direct result of the monetization strategies of these platforms and the slippery slope of the attention economy. It turns moments of vulnerability into opportunities for profit.
Perhaps most concerning is the potential for conversations to be weaponized. A misunderstanding or conflict that would have previously been resolved on a playground can now escalate into a viral social media feud. A screenshot of a private chat can be shared to humiliate or bully. Rumours and gossip, once confined to small social circles, can now spread to entire schools or communities with a few clicks.
Even family and friends can inadvertently contribute to this weaponization, sharing sensitive moments online without understanding the long-term consequences.
Understanding this shift is crucial for parents. While we cannot turn back time, we can equip our children to navigate this new reality thoughtfully and safely. Here are some ideas parents can implement:
- Create a safe space at home where children feel comfortable discussing sensitive topics without fear of judgment. Let them know you’re there to listen and guide without overreacting.
- Teach your child the concept of a “digital dossier.” Help them understand that what they post or share online can have lasting consequences and might be difficult, or even impossible, to erase.
- Talk about the potential dangers of sharing private conversations, photos, or videos online. Explain how these can be misused or exploited by others.
- Children learn from observing their parents. Be mindful of your own habits around sharing private moments or conversations online.
- Support initiatives and legislation aimed at holding tech companies accountable for the ways they use and profit from user data, particularly that of minors.
The essence of youth conversations has remained constant over time, but the medium through which they occur has evolved dramatically, bringing new challenges and responsibilities. What were once fleeting whispers on playgrounds or folded notes exchanged in secrecy during class are now permanent digital imprints that can shape reputations, relationships, and futures.
As parents and caregivers, understanding this shift is essential to guiding our children in a world where privacy is no longer guaranteed, and every interaction has the potential to be shared, monetized, or weaponized. Conversations may no longer be confined to the privacy of playgrounds or sleepovers, but with the right tools, we can teach our kids to reclaim a sense of control over their interactions and protect their digital identities in today’s onlife world.
As we share in our youth and teen programs, “as soon as you tap send, that message, picture, or video you sent can now become public, permanent, searchable, exploitable, copiable, sharable, and sold” – there is no such thing as privacy!
Digital Food For Thought
The White Hatter
Facts Not Fear, Facts Not Emotions, Enlighten Not Frighten, Know Tech Not No Tech
