CAVEAT – Following our post, “Should You and Your Child Watch The Netflix Series Adolescence? – Our Review,” (1) we have received numerous inquiries from parents, caregivers, and educators asking for guidance on how to initiate meaningful discussions with teens about the concerns surrounding the Manosphere, their acolytes, and online radicalization. Our advice is to first gain a solid understanding of these challenges so you can engage in informed conversations with your kids. We have created a FREE resource page with this information to help guide the discussions that we speak to in this article.(2) In this article, we will share principles we have turned to and learned from others over the years when engaging in discussions with teen boys, approaches that have proven effective for us. Research supports that proactive education about the manosphere is both essential and the most effective way to counteract the impact of its toxic messaging. (3)
When discussing the “manosphere” (4) and misogynistic influencers like Andrew Tate (5) with teens, especially boys, it’s crucial to approach the conversation with facts and a critical thinking framework rather than judgment or condemnation. Simply labeling the manosphere or Tate as “bad” can immediately create resistance, as we have found that many young males idolize him. Instead of attacking the manosphere and there acolytes directly, fostering open discussions that encourage teens to analyze messaging critically is far more effective in our experience. Providing factual information that challenges common false narratives empowers teens to think for themselves, question misleading claims, and engage in meaningful, independent thought. Often, meaningful critical thinking triggers debate which can often allow youth and teen participants to see extremist content for what it is.
Remember, it is important for parents, caregivers, and educators to demonstrate intellectual openness and a readiness to critically examine our own perspectives. This serves two key purposes: #1, it offers students a real-life example of critical thinking in action. #2, it challenges the common extremist narrative that parents, caregivers, and schools aim to indoctrinate and manipulate youth and teens into adopting biased intellectual agendas against the manosphere.
#1 – A Thought Experiment: Sibling Equality
One effective way to stimulate critical thinking about the messaging surrounding the manosphere is by presenting relatable scenarios. Ask teens to imagine they have a sibling, a sister who is two years older. Then, pose the following questions:
- Do you think that you or your sister could become a millionaire if you both worked hard?
- Do you believe that you or your sister could change the world one day?
- Do you believe that you and your sister can do any job?
- Do you think that if you or your sister made a mistake, it would be okay to apologize?
- Do you believe that if your sister got married or was living common law that their partner would now have 100% authority over your sister?
- Do you believe that if you or your sister ever experienced depression or suicidal thoughts, it would be a real, medically diagnosable condition?
These questions encourage young people to reflect on fundamental values such as equality, ambition, accountability, and mental health. They also start to expose contradictions in the manosphere messaging, without really talking about it, yet, that often downplays women’s capabilities and dismisses mental health issues.
Once you have created a good discussion around the above noted questions, then provide them with these quotes form the Manosphere and Tate such as:
- “women who are raped bear some responsibility!”
- “women can’t afford jets, women are brokies!”
- “women didn’t build or change the world, men did!”
- “husbands have “authority” over their wives once married!”
- “women are meant to do women’s work and men are meant to do men’s work!”
This should spark further discussion about how this messaging is contrary to the earlier discussions they had about the same beliefs.
#2 – Encouraging Self-Reflection: Who Are Your Role Models?
Another approach to fostering critical thinking surrounding this issue is to ask teens:
1/ “Who are some adults you look up to as role models?” (Common answers often include sports figures, entrepreneurs, and historical leaders.)
2/ Then ask, “Do you think Andrew Tate is a good role model? Why or why not?”
3/ Then ask, “Do you think the role models you initially mentioned would hang out with Andrew Tate? Why or why not?”
By comparing Tate to respected figures in sports, business, or activism, teens are prompted to evaluate whether his behaviour aligns with the qualities they admire. This exercise helps them see that many of their real-life heroes do not embody the same values Tate promotes.
#3- “What if”questions to stimulate critical thinking
Media Literacy & Content Analysis
One of the first steps in critical thinking is understanding who is behind the content and why they are sharing it. Teens should ask themselves: Who is creating this content, and what is their motivation? Many influencers benefit financially from clicks, views, and controversy, which can shape the way they present information. It’s important to evaluate what emotions they are trying to provoke and why. Are they using anger, resentment, or fear to keep people engaged? Additionally, examining the credibility of the claims made is crucial. What evidence is provided, and is it reliable? Encouraging teens to consider opposing viewpoints can help them recognize bias and avoid falling into one-sided thinking.
What if Question: You’re scrolling through social media and come across a video where an influencer claims, “Women only date guys with money; if you don’t have status, you’re invisible.” The comments are full of people agreeing.
- What do you think this influencer gains by pushing this message?
- Have you seen examples in real life that challenge this claim?
- Do people in healthy relationships always prioritize money and status?
- What other factors make a person attractive beyond wealth?
Questioning Manosphere Claims
Many manosphere narratives rely on sweeping generalizations about men and women. Teens should question: “Does this claim apply to everyone, or is it an oversimplification?” If an influencer states that “all women are only attracted to wealth and status,” it’s worth reflecting on real-life examples of relationships that contradict this. Have I ever met real people who fit this description? If not, why is this claim so widely accepted online? Recognizing the diversity of human experiences helps dismantle rigid stereotypes and encourages more nuanced perspectives.
What if Question: A popular manosphere influencer says, “Never show emotions because women will lose respect for you. Men should always be dominant.”
- Do strong men always have to be dominant? What does strength look like to you?
- Can you think of successful men (athletes, actors, leaders) who show emotions and are still respected?
- How does bottling up emotions impact mental health and relationships?
- Would you want your future partner to suppress their emotions?
Algorithm & Echo Chamber Awareness
Teens may not realize that social media algorithms are designed to reinforce their existing beliefs by continuously feeding them similar content. If a teen notices that their feed is filled with the same types of videos, they should ask: Why do I keep seeing this content? and What perspectives am I not seeing? Being aware of these digital echo chambers is key to expanding one’s understanding. Teens should consider following creators with different viewpoints or actively searching for alternative perspectives to challenge their current beliefs.
What if Question: You notice that after watching a few videos about masculinity, your social media feed is flooded with similar content, and you keep seeing the same arguments over and over.
- Why do you think this is happening?
- What kind of content might be missing from your feed?
- How could you balance your perspective by exposing yourself to different viewpoints?
- What happens if you actively seek out alternative perspectives?
Emotional Intelligence & Mental Health
Content that promotes a rigid, hyper-masculine ideal often discourages emotional expression, framing it as weakness. Teens should reflect on how certain content makes them feel, does it make me angry, empowered, or anxious, and whether those emotions are constructive. Additionally, they should ask: “Do strong, successful men truly avoid vulnerability, or is that a stereotype?” Many respected leaders, athletes, and public figures openly discuss their struggles and emotions. Helping teens redefine strength beyond dominance and aggression can support their emotional well-being.
What if Question: A friend tells you, “I feel like I have to act tough all the time because guys who show emotions get made fun of.”
- Why do you think some people associate emotions with weakness?
- What are the risks of constantly hiding emotions?
- Do you respect people more when they’re open about their struggles or when they hide them?
- How can guys support each other emotionally without feeling judged?
Positive Masculinity & Identity
Understanding what masculinity means on a personal level is essential for self-growth. Instead of relying on online influencers to define manhood, teens should ask: “What does being a “real man” mean to me?” They can reflect on role models they admire, whether family members, teachers, or public figures, and consider what qualities make them respectable. Does masculinity require control over others, or can it be defined by kindness, resilience, and respect? Encouraging teens to embrace a broader and healthier view of masculinity allows them to build a positive self-identity.
What if Question: You hear two guys arguing about what makes a “real man.” One says, “Real men never back down from a fight,” while the other says, “Real men know when to walk away.”
- Who do you agree with and why?
- Does walking away mean you’re weak?
- How do you define masculinity for yourself?
- Can a man be strong without being aggressive?
Relationships & Gender Dynamics
Many manosphere influencers present relationships as power struggles rather than partnerships. Teens should critically assess these portrayals by asking: “How do healthy relationships actually work in real life?” If content generalizes about how women behave or what they “really want,” it’s important to question: “Are these people being treated as individuals or as stereotypes?” Encouraging boys to reflect on how they want to be treated in relationships, and whether manosphere advice aligns with that, helps foster healthier interactions with others.
What if Question: A YouTube video claims, “If a woman doesn’t submit to you, she doesn’t respect you.”
- What does “submission” and “consent” mean in the context of a relationship?
- Should relationships be about one person having power over the other?
- What does mutual respect and consent look like in a partnership?
- Would you want a relationship where your partner felt obligated to submit to you?
Personal Reflection & Independent Thinking
The most important aspect of critical thinking is self-reflection. Teens should consider, “Have I ever changed my mind about something? What made me rethink my stance?” Growth comes from questioning one’s own assumptions. Encouraging them to think about what success means to them, beyond what influencers say, helps them build a personal identity based on values rather than external validation. Instead of following content that dictates how they “should” act, they can form their own path based on critical thought and real-world experiences.
What if Question: You realize that some of the content you watch makes you feel angry or resentful toward certain groups of people.
- Why do you think this content triggers that reaction?
- Do you want to carry that kind of emotion with you?
- How do you feel after watching content that promotes personal growth and self-improvement instead?
- What kind of person do you want to become, and does this content help you get there?
Navigating conversations with teens about the manosphere and influencers like Andrew Tate requires a thoughtful and strategic approach. Simply condemning these figures outright can push teens further into their ideological echo chambers. Instead, the key to meaningful discussions lies in fostering critical thinking, self-reflection, and digital/media literacy.
By engaging teens with thought-provoking questions, relatable scenarios, and real-world examples, we can help them evaluate the validity of manosphere messaging on their own terms. Encouraging them to analyze statements, challenge generalizations, and recognize emotional manipulation within online content empowers them to form their own informed opinions rather than passively absorbing harmful narratives.
Additionally, recognizing the role of algorithms in shaping their social media experience allows teens to step back and seek out a wider range of perspectives. Understanding that online influencers often profit from controversy and division can further help them approach extreme viewpoints with skepticism.
Equally important is redefining masculinity in a way that embraces emotional intelligence, mutual respect in relationships, and a well-rounded sense of personal identity. By guiding teens to consider positive role models beyond online figures, we can reinforce the idea that strength is not synonymous with dominance or control, but rather with resilience, empathy, and integrity.
Ultimately, the goal is not to dictate what teens should think but to equip them with the tools to think critically. In an online landscape filled with misinformation and ideological extremism, the ability to question, analyze, and seek balance is more valuable than ever. By fostering open dialogue and encouraging independent thought, we can help young people navigate complex digital spaces with confidence and discernment.
By shifting from confrontation to conversation, parents, caregivers, and educators can help young people navigate online influences with a more critical and thoughtful mindset.
Digital Food For Thought
The White Hatter
Facts Not Fear, Facts Not Emotions, Enlighten Not Frighten, Know Tech Not No Tech
Post Script:
It is important to note that this is not just not a “boy” issue. As Andrew Murfin stated. “
Online spaces amplify toxic narratives – and not just for boys, but for girls too. Andrew Tate may dominate headlines, but influencers like Bonnie Blue and Lily Philips are equally damaging, promoting hypersexualised ideals of femininity that are just as hollow and harmful. Hypermasculine posturing and hyperfeminine performance both send dangerous messages: that value lies in dominance, conquest, or appearance. The damage is felt on both sides.” (6)
References:
3/ https://acamh.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/camh.12747
5/ https://thewhitehatter.ca/blog/the-contagion-effect-of-andrew-tate-on-youth-schools/
6/ https://www.linkedin.com/feed/update/urn:li:activity:7309508242768875523/
