Discussions around online toxicity often focus on the influence of figures like Andrew Tate, who promote mysogynistic hyper-masculine ideals to teen boys. While this is a valid concern, it’s crucial to recognize that toxic narratives don’t only impact boys, they shape the experiences and self-perceptions of teen girls as well. As Andrew Murfin , Interim Head at Danes Hill School in England, aptly stated:
“Online spaces amplify toxic narratives – and not just for boys, but for girls too. Andrew Tate may dominate headlines, but influencers like Bonnie Blue and Lily Philips are equally damaging, promoting hyper-sexualized ideals of femininity that are just as hollow and harmful. Hyper-masculine posturing and hyper-feminine performance both send dangerous messages: that value lies in dominance, conquest, or appearance. The damage is felt on both sides.” (1)
The onlife world has become a breeding ground for extreme narratives that define gender roles in unhealthy and limiting ways. Young boys are often exposed to hyper-masculine ideals that emphasize dominance, emotional detachment, and aggressive behaviour as markers of success. These messages teach them that power and conquest are essential for self-worth, reinforcing a mindset where relationships become a struggle for control rather than mutual respect. This mindset not only damages their ability to form healthy connections but also contributes to broader issues of misogyny and entitlement. (2)
On the other hand, young girls encounter a different but equally harmful influence, hyper-femininity, which equates their value with beauty, desirability, and submissiveness – some now calling it the “femisphere”. (3) Female social media influencers , such as Hannah Pearl Davis, who push these hyper-sexualized ideals promote the notion that a girl’s worth is tied to external validation, encouraging them to prioritize appearance and male approval over personal growth, ambition, or independence. (4)
Girls who absorb hyper-feminine messaging, meanwhile, often struggle with body image issues and develop a reliance on external validation, believing that their primary role is to conform to unrealistic beauty standards and be pleasing to others. These pressures can result in low self-esteem, risky behaviours, and unhealthy relationship dynamics where girls feel compelled to sacrifice their needs in favour of meeting unrealistic expectations.
For parents and caregivers, addressing these harmful narratives requires proactive engagement and ongoing conversations with their children. Teaching digital literacy is essential in helping young people critically analyze the messages they encounter online. Encouraging children to question the motives behind the content they consume, whether it be an influencer promoting a certain lifestyle or a brand pushing a particular aesthetic, allows them to develop a more discerning perspective. By fostering discussions around these topics, parents and caregivers can guide their children toward recognizing manipulative messaging and rejecting harmful stereotypes. It is also important to introduce young people to role models who embody healthy, balanced perspectives on gender and identity, ensuring they have positive alternatives to the extreme portrayals that dominate social media.
Challenging these toxic narratives also involves reinforcing the idea that self-worth should not be determined by external factors such as dominance, appearance, or social status. Teen girls should be encouraged to see their value as rooted in their intelligence, character, and capabilities rather than how they are perceived by others. Creating an open and non-judgmental home environment where children feel safe discussing their experiences online is crucial, as it allows parents to intervene early and provide guidance before harmful beliefs take root.
Although much of the public conversation focuses on the dangers of hyper-masculinity for boys, the impact of hyper-femininity on girls is just as significant and deserves equal attention. The amplification of these extreme gender narratives in online spaces is shaping “some” of today’s generation’s understanding of identity, relationships, and self-worth in deeply problematic ways. Parents, caregivers, and educators play a vital role in countering these messages by encouraging critical thinking, promoting positive role models, and fostering self-worth that is built on authenticity rather than external validation. In doing so, they can help their children navigate the digital world with confidence, resilience, and a clear sense of their true value.
Digital Food For Thought
The White Hatter
Facts Not Fear, Facts Not Emotions, Enlighten Not Frighten, Know Tech Not No Tech
References:
1/ https://www.linkedin.com/feed/update/urn:li:activity:7309508242768875523/
4/ https://retriever.umbc.edu/2024/11/justpearlythings-a-return-to-traditional-values/
