Caveat- we have permission to share this blog article from the follower who connected with us looking for guidance and assistance as long as we redacted, names and the location of this incident. Like us, they want this incident to be a learning opportunity for all parents and caregivers.
Very recently, we were contacted by one of our followers seeking help in a deeply troubling case. A “very young” teenager in their community had gone missing, setting off immediate concerns that they had been abducted. As law enforcement launched their investigation, they discovered that this was not a random kidnapping by a stranger, but rather the result of calculated, deliberate, and prolonged online grooming incident from what appears to be an online predator.
The youth came from a loving, supportive family, performed well in school, and showed no obvious signs of distress or risk. To their parents, everything seemed normal. What they did not realize was that their child had been communicating online with an individual in the United States who had methodically groomed them over time. The manipulation was so extensive that the young teen had been convinced to leave home and attempt to cross into the U.S. alone. They had the necessary paperwork in hand with forged signatures (1), a clear sign that the groomer had planned every detail with precision. Given the detail of the plan and how it was executed, it also told us that this groomer has likely done this before.
Thankfully, a sharp-eyed U.S. border officer intercepted the youth before they could cross. The youth was safely returned home, and law enforcement agencies from both countries are now working to track down and arrest the individual responsible. While we cannot share all the details, this case serves as a stark reminder that online grooming is a very real and present danger.
Parents and caregivers must recognize that most groomers are not amateurs, they are highly skilled manipulators who know how to build trust, exploit vulnerabilities, and create a false sense of security in young people. They do not rush the process. Instead, they take their time, embedding themselves into a child’s life by offering attention, affection, and sometimes even financial incentives. This methodical approach can make even the most well-supported and well-educated youth susceptible to their influence.
One of the most alarming aspects of this case is the distance the teen was willing to travel, including crossing an international border, to meet someone they had never met in person. However, this is not an isolated incident. Across Canada, young people have been lured into taking extreme actions such as boarding buses, booking flights, or even walking miles alone, all under the psychological grip of a groomer who has convinced them that leaving home is the right thing to do.
Supervising a child’s technology use is crucial in helping to prevent situations like these. Young teens should not have unrestricted access to devices in private spaces, particularly at night. A bedroom, once considered a safe and private refuge, can quickly become a digital gateway where predators establish relationships with children without parents having any idea. Parents and caregivers should routinely check in on their child’s online activity, not as a form of surveillance, but as a means of guiding them toward healthy, safe, and age-appropriate digital interactions.
Just as important as supervision is ongoing, open, and non-judgmental conversation. Groomers rely on secrecy, manipulation, and the idea that “no one else will understand” to isolate their targets. This is why it is essential for parents and caregivers to create an environment where children feel comfortable discussing their online experiences. Rather than responding with immediate punishment when a child admits to making a mistake online, a better approach is to listen, guide, and educate. Conversations about online safety should not be a one-time lecture but an ongoing dialogue, and one that evolves as technology and digital threats change.
To help parents and caregivers navigate these difficult conversations, we have written a comprehensive chapter on online grooming in our free web book.
Education is one of the most powerful tools in preventing these situations, and we encourage all parents to take proactive steps in understanding and discussing this issue, and even sharing the story of this young person.
The case of this young teen serves as a powerful reminder that online grooming is not just a hypothetical risk, it is a real and present danger that can impact any family, regardless of how loving, attentive, or well-informed they may be. Groomers are patient, strategic, and skilled at gaining the trust of their targets, often without parents or caregivers realizing what is happening until it is too late. This is why education, supervision, and open communication are essential in protecting young people from online predators.
Parents and caregivers must take an active role in their child’s onlife world, not by instilling fear, but by fostering awareness and trust. Setting appropriate boundaries for technology use, keeping lines of communication open, and ensuring children feel comfortable discussing their online interactions are critical steps in reducing risk. Conversations about online safety should be ongoing, evolving as new threats emerge and as children grow more independent in their digital interactions.
This case had a fortunate outcome, but not all do. Let it serve as a wake-up call to all parents and caregivers: online grooming is a real and growing threat, and the best way to protect our children is through vigilance, education, and proactive engagement. (2) By staying informed and involved, we can empower our kids to navigate the online world safely and with confidence.
This case is a sobering reminder that vigilance, education, and open communication are our strongest defences against online predators. By staying engaged in your child’s onlife world, setting appropriate boundaries, and fostering an open dialogue, you can help safeguard them from those who seek to exploit their trust. Let this be a call to action, one that reminds us that while technology offers incredible opportunities, it also demands responsibility, awareness, and a commitment to keeping our children safer.
Digital Food For Thought
The White Hatter
Facts Not Fear, Facts Not Emotions, Enlighten Not Frighten, Know Tech Not No Tech
References:
1/ https://travel.gc.ca/travelling/children/faq
2/ https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/british-columbia/child-exploitation-rates-up-b-c-1.7419930
