Yesterday, my wife and I had the chance to watch our “nephew,” a Grade 7 junior high student, play in a school rugby match. Like most school sports events, the sidelines were lined with about 40 parents, mostly moms, but some dads, too. As the game kicked off, I glanced back at the stands and noticed something that stuck with me, roughly three-quarters of the adults weren’t watching the game. Their heads were down scrolling on their phones.
Heads down. Eyes locked on screens. Not for a moment or two, but for most of the match which, to be fair, was just two 15-minute halves. That’s 30 minutes. Thirty minutes where kids were giving it their all, and many of the adults there to support them were missing it.
What made this even more noticeable was the way the kids kept looking toward the sidelines. Our nephew spotted us watching, smiled, waved, and you could see the pride on his face. He knew we were there for him, not just in body, but in spirit and attention. We weren’t just present, we were present, and we knew he felt it.
We saw other players do the same, searching the stands with hopeful glances. Looking for connection. Looking for approval. Looking to be seen. However, too often, their glances were met with parents whose head were face down looking at a phone screen. What kind of message does that send? Maybe it says, “I love you enough to drive you here, but not enough to truly watch and celebrate what you’re doing.” or, “I’m here, but only partially.”
This was interesting given that several of the players clearly had girlfriends watching them play, and NONE of them were on their phones, none – all were watching their boyfriend play!
As adults, we are quick to point fingers at youth for being distracted by technology. We lecture them about how their phones pull them away from the real world, how they’re missing out on life. That phone in our hands is often a reflection of our own hypocrisy, and youth and teens see this hypocrisy.
If we want our kids to engage with the world around them, we have to model that ourselves. That means looking up. Making eye contact. Being intentional with our presence. Because our kids notice when we’re watching, and they definitely notice when we’re not.
So the next time you’re at your child’s game, recital, or performance, put down the phone. Watch them. Be with them. Show them that what they do matters and that they matter. Because one day, they’ll remember whether you were cheering in the stands or scrolling through a feed. If we want our kids to value the world around them, we need to start by valuing theirs.
Digital Food For Thought
The White Hatter
Facts Not Fear, Facts Not Emotions, Enlighten Not Frighten, Know Tech Not No Tech
