The launch of Facebook in 2004 was the true catalyst in the creation of the “tagged generation”. For readers who are unaware, once you tag (#) a picture with a name, that picture now becomes very searchable. Although tagging pictures is convenient for searchability, it also creates unforeseen vulnerabilities that parents may not have considered. Like it or not, parents have become the genesis of creating digital dossiers of their children that are becoming very searchable.
It is believed that the term “sharenting”, which is a mashup of the two words sharing + parenting, was coined in a 2013 article by the Wall Street Journal, but for the purpose of this article, our definition of sharenting is:
“The parental overuse of technology and social media to knowingly, and sometimes unknowingly, share content from or about a child”
We believe that not all sharenting is bad. As Stacey Steinburg stated in her great 2020 book, “Growing Up Shared”(1):
“Sharenting is often a positive way to connect and support one another during parenthood to improve our lives, child’s lives and the lives of others in our community”
The challenge is not sharenting, it’s over-sharenting. Pictures and posting of your child may be cute and funny to you today, but these same postings could place your child at risk of embarrassment, discrimination, or identity theft later in life. (2)
Considering the body image challenges that some youth face during the tween and teen years, it’s understandable that they may become extremely concerned about parents posting their pictures on social media. This further emphasizes the importance of being mindful about what we share when uploading photos on these platforms.
In a recent study from England, it was estimated that 92% of two-year-olds have an online presence that is searchable online. The same study found by the time the child reaches the age of five, they have approximately 1500 images that have been posted by parents.(3)
We decided to ask teens who follow us on social media the following question:
“Are you comfortable with your parents posting personal information about you on their social media?”
339 teens responded and 66% stated “no”, and 34% stated “yes”
Of interest, we also asked parents the following question:
“Are you comfortable with your kids posting pictures or personal information of you on their social media?”
287 parents responded and 87% stated “no”, and 13% stated “yes”
Parent Tip:
What’s good for the goose, should be good for the gander when it comes to sharing information about each other online. How would you feel if your parents took their photo album of all your baby pictures to your workplace, and shared them with everyone you knew and did not know? In today’s onlife world, our kids need a private space to play, make mistakes, and get involved in a little bit of mischief without it coming back to haunt them as they get older.
We have seen over-sharenting lead to cyberbullying, sexually morphed pictures on pedophile sites (4), and identity theft. These are things that our parents could not share with us because we are the first generation of parents, who are now seeing the outcomes of over-sharenting. Think of this before you post!
CASE STUDY:
In August 2020, the online news platform iheartinteligence.com wrote an article about a mother who located a picture that she had posted of her young child online, was copied and pasted into a pedophilia website where it had been altered (morphed) so that the child appeared to be wearing heavy makeup. (5)
“Kidfluencers” – A New Form of Sharenting
When addressing online sharenting, our immediate concern often centers around “sexual exploitation,” a critical topic that demands awareness and understanding from parents. In our free web book for parents, we have dedicated an entire chapter to shed light on this issue (6).
However, we believe it is equally vital for parents to grasp another form of sharenting that is becoming more prevalent online— the use of youth as influence marketers, popularly known as “kidfluencers.” Regrettably, parents themselves can unknowingly become the catalysts for this type of sharenting, often overlooking the potential harm it can inflict on their children (7)(8)
The allure of significant financial rewards associated with “kidfluencers” can tempt parents and caregivers to involve their children in this trend. Nevertheless, it is of utmost importance to exercise caution and stay mindful of the potential risks associated with this form of sharenting, which could render them more vulnerable in the long run.
Here’s a GREAT video from ABC Australia specific to the topic of Kidfluencers and the dangers associated https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VzPY_cS9_wQ
Sharenting Considerations That We Recommend:
- Remember, you have likely granted the social media platform you are using the “non-exclusive rights” to your content via their “Terms of Service” that you agreed to.
- As parents and caregivers, do not use the internet and social media to affirm your role as a parent.
- Ask yourself, what would your child think about your posting when they get older? Be reflective.
- When old enough to understand what consent is, ask for your child’s permission first before you post and pictures or personal information about them.
- If you post a picture, watermark it with “posted with permission of my child”
- Review old posts once a year and delete content that given hindsight should not have been posted.
- Model good posting behavior. We want our children to know that before they post a picture or personal information about anyone, they should ask for digital consent first.
- Avoid sharing content that provides the location of where your child lives or goes to school
- Avoid posts that show your child in any state of undress
- Talk to grandparents given that far too often they will share too much information about their grandchildren on their social media platforms
As Dr. Alexandra Hamlet, a child psychologist stated,
“There is a difference between being proud of your kids and displaying that on your refrigerator, compared to sharing it on social media without consent or discussing with them in advance”
As a parent or caregiver, don’t use the Internet and social media to affirm your role as a parent. Before you post your child’s image, ask for permission first before you post.
Digital Food For Thought
The White Hatter
UPDATE May 2024 – A movement is now being led by the first generation of “social media babies” who suffered from over-sharenting. These young adults are advocating for laws to protect future children from parents who share too much information about them online. https://thewhitehatter.ca/wp-admin/post.php?post=1028&action=elementor
References:
1/ https://www.thewhitehatter.ca/book-list
2/ https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/calgary/fake-father-daughter-photos-1.6892227
3/ https://www.nominet.uk/parents-oversharing-family-photos-online-lack-basic-privacy-know/
