Recently, several parents and caregivers have asked us about the new Netflix series “Adolescence”, wondering:
- Is the content appropriate for their kids?
- Can online content influence behaviour, particularly the actions of the character Jamie?
- What are the manosphere and Incel movements, and how do they relate to the story’s themes?
- What can parents and caregivers do to address the challenges surrounding these topics, including figures like Andrew Tate, who is mentioned in the series?
We’re going to answer these questions and offer our perspective, without giving away major spoilers, for those who haven’t seen the show yet.
Our Thoughts on the Series
After watching the 4-part series, we can say that “Adolescence” is a well-crafted, thought-provoking fictional drama that aims to provoke discussion and reflection. The 4-part British series takes a unique “first-person” filming approach, single take with no cuts, immersing viewers in the events as if they were unfolding in real-time right in front of them. While the story is fictional, it sheds light on some of today’s real-world challenges that parents, caregivers, and educators should be aware of, particularly regarding the experiences of teen boys in today’s onlife world.
The series opens by revealing “what” happened, a tragic act of violence, but leaves the “why” open to interpretation. In our experience, this mirrors real-life violent crimes, where understanding motivations can be complex. The show effectively presents clues that allow viewers to piece together a broader picture of the factors that may have contributed to the events, including parents asking themselves if they were partly to blame.
Parental and Caregiver Considerations
The series tackles difficult and mature themes, including radicalization, online influence, and toxic online communities. It introduces the concept of the manosphere and Incel (involuntarily celibate) movement, highlighting their potential impact that feeds on vulnerable young teen boys, but doesn’t really drill down into these issues, but we will in this article. It is our suggestion that parents and caregivers watching with their teens should be prepared for deep conversations about these topics and the broader issue of how online spaces can shape attitudes and behaviours, and we will provide our readers with the resources to do so in this article.
“Adolescence” also clearly shows how a teen critical incident may have a long term emotional, psychological, physical, and social effect on all family members. Something Darren saw time and time agains in his 30 year policing career.
A Critical Note
If there was one criticism of the series that stood out as unrealistic to us, it was the depiction of the police response in episode one. The opening scene shows a heavily armed tactical unit (SWAT) breaking down the door of a home to arrest a 13-year-old boy. Based on Darren’s 30 years of experience as a police officer and duty officer who supervised such incidents , this level of force would be highly unlikely in Canada unless there were immediate, exigent circumstances. There are safer, more measured ways law enforcement would typically handle the arrest of a young teen, even one suspected of murder, than was portrayed in the opening scenes.
Can online content influence behaviour?
“Adolescence” shines a light on masculinity, identity development, parenting, family dynamics and violence, consent, relationships, school dynamics, bullying, peer pressures, and social media to brilliantly show how they all intertwine in shaping the experiences of teenage boys today. As youth and teen boys navigate the critical stage of identity formation (ages 12-18), they grapple with questions about who they are and how they fit into society. Unfortunately, this journey can be complicated by the growing influence of toxic gender expectations, especially as certain online spaces exploit their vulnerabilities. (1)
Through education, we have learned that psychologist Erik Erikson identified adolescence as a time of “identity vs. role confusion.” (2) This developmental stage is when teens begin to form a sense of self, often experimenting with different roles and ideologies. In today’s onlife world, young men who feel uncertain or rejected by traditional masculinity often find themselves targeted by the manosphere for recruitment, a collection of online communities that exploit their insecurities, offering rigid and often harmful notions of what it means to be a man. (3)
These groups use shame and guilt as tools to manipulate young teen boys, “sometimes” pushing them toward verbal and physical aggression towards females as a means to reclaim control – something we see demonstrated repeatedly in the third episode. The psychological pressure to conform to extreme versions of masculinity can lead to troubling behaviour, as was portrayed in this Netflix series, and seen in real-life incidents of verbal and physical violence stemming from young teen boys who feel alienated and misunderstood.
When acts of violence involving young teen boys occur, the immediate focus is on the “what” happened, the sequence of events leading up to the tragedy. But the deeper and more difficult question to answer is the “why?” What societal forces, personal struggles, and psychological influences could have converged to push a teen towards violence?
Teen boys today are growing up in a world shaped by cancel culture, the lingering effects of the pandemic, extreme ideological polarization, and increased family violence. In the show, the name Andrew Tate was quickly mentioned as one of the contributing factors in the cause of this extreme ideological polarization. (4) What is important to note – Andrew Tate’s “red pill” ideology is totally different than the “black pill” ideology” of the incel movement, something that we find that most people are missing. However, both are concerning and something that parents, caregivers, and educators need to be aware of.
Teen boys are caught between competing polarized messages: the “woke” left calling for gender fluidity and emotional openness and the “extreme” right pushing hyper-masculine dominance. This ideological tug-of-war creates confusion and leaves many young teen boys searching for an identity that feels authentic yet accepted by society and their peers.
Not every teen boy fits the mold of what is seen to be “traditional” masculinity, and those who don’t can face rejection, both socially and within their own families. The pressure to conform can create intense feelings of isolation, frustration, and, in some cases, explosive anger. When boys don’t have a safe space to express emotions like sadness, fear, or insecurity, we have seen them channel these feelings into aggression, a response reinforced by toxic gender expectations that can often be focused against teen girls. (5)
This struggle is exemplified in the shifting psychological dynamics between characters, like Jamie and his female psychologist, in the third episode of the Netflix series. Jamie’s journey from vulnerability to aggression mirrors the internal battle that “some” young teen boys experience as they try to navigate what they see to be modern masculinity. The absence of healthy emotional outlets and the presence of toxic influences can turn self-doubt into destructive behaviour.
Toxic gender expectations is not just about aggression, it’s about the complex emotional and psychological struggles that teen boys face in a rapidly changing onlife world. The key to breaking the cycle is not to shame boys for their emotions or struggles but to provide them with the tools, support, and role models they need to form healthy identities. By addressing these challenges with nuance and compassion, parents and caregivers can help their sons navigate masculinity in a way that fosters confidence, resilience, respect, and emotional well-being.
What Can Parents, Caregivers, and Educators Do?
A major UK government study, the largest of its kind, reveals a crucial truth, Incel’s and those who have adopted manosphere ideologies need mental health support. (6) Although there have been a few well publicized violent incidents involving Incel’s, the research found that they are more of a danger to themselves rather than others. The research also found:
- Many primarily struggle with depression, anxiety, and self-hatred, not just anger toward women.
- They often feel isolated and lack self-esteem.
- The biggest risk factor for extremism isn’t ideology, it’s hopelessness and disconnection.
While a small fraction of youth become radicalized, most are simply in distress. They don’t need punishment or shame, they need help. Here’s a great interview with William Costello who was involved in the above noted research, that takes a deeper look into Incels. (7)
Growing up is already tough. Add masculinity, identity development, parenting, family violence, consent, relationships, school pressures, bullying, the internet, social media, and the influence of radical online ideologies, and many boys feel lost. If a teen seems withdrawn, hopeless about relationships, or fixated on gender issues, they may already be engaging with Incel and manosphere ideology.
This is why setting digital boundaries is crucial. With social media, AI, and algorithms designed to amplify outrage and reinforce existing beliefs, it’s more important than ever to be aware of how these systems can draw teen boys into the online manosphere. (8) Tech rules at home go beyond just screen time, they’re about safety, mental well-being, and fostering critical thinking.
It is also important that parents and caregivers get technology out of the bedroom. (9) In the series, the parents speak to the fact that they let Jamie retreat to his bedroom when he got home from school, where he was on his computer until midnight. It has been our experience that a teen’s late night access to the internet, in the privacy of their bedroom, is when youth are often scrolling through sites online that they really should not be accessing.
Lastly, in today’s onlife world, communication among young people has evolved dramatically. Emojis, those small digital cartoonish icons, and memes have become an integral part of how youth express themselves with others online. While emojis are often used to convey emotions, they can also serve as subtle indicators of deeper emotional struggles, such as depression, self-harm, or even thoughts of suicidal ideations. In “Adolescence”, the son of the detective was attempting to explain the meaning of several emojis specific to the Incel movement, such as the “kidney beans emoji” and the “back pill emoji”, or the 80/20 meme , the theory that 80% of women are attracted to 20% of men, and that women only seek out men who are physically and socially desirable, which the parent just blew off.
Parents, caregivers, and educators – it’s crucial to understand that sometimes the way a youth uses emojis or memes can be an indicator of their mental well-being. If you don’t understand the language, then you can’t understand the context of their online communications. We offer a free resource to help parents, caregivers, and educators with this understanding (10)
Important Note: It is important for parents, caregivers, and educators to know that the meaning of an emoji’s can differ from country to country and even school to school!
In today’s onlife world, youth and teens are growing up in a world vastly different from the one we experienced. With the proliferation of social media and online platforms, navigating the onlife world can be daunting for parents, caregivers, and youth alike. However, by embracing certain principles and adopting proactive strategies, we can empower our children to thrive in today’s onlife world while maintaining a healthy balance between autonomy and guidance, while reducing risk at the same time. (11)
So What Do We Think:
“Adolescence” is a gripping and well-executed Netflix fictional series that raises important questions about youth, masculinity, identity development, parenting, consent, peer relationships, family violence, school pressures, bullying, the internet, social media, and the influence of radical online ideologies. While it’s not based on a true story, it uses creative licence, and its themes are highly relevant when it comes to “some” youth and teens in today’s onlife world. However, due to its mature content and heavy subject matter, we strongly recommend that parents, caregivers, and educators watch it first before deciding if it’s appropriate for their child or student. If your teen does watch, be ready to have open, thoughtful and honest discussions about the show’s key messages based on the linked resources we have provided throughout this article.
Related Article Of Interest:
Digital Food For Thought
The White Hatter
Facts Not Fear, Facts Not Emotions, Enlighten Not Frighten, Know Tech Not No Tech
Post Script #1:
Some are using this fictional Netflix series, and the fact that the writer of this series has joined the “Smartphone Free Childhood Pact” campaign, to justify restricting youth and teens from accessing cellphones or the internet until they turn 16. However, we believe that the series itself makes it clear that the underlying issues go far beyond just technology. While we acknowledge that the internet and social media can play a role in this complex issue, other factors are equally, if not more, significant such as family violence, tech companies that fail to filter out harmful manosphere content, and schools that are overwhelmed and understaffed leaving them unable to adequately identify and support students in mental health crises, just to name a few. As well, the police and the criminal justice system is often the only 24/7 resource left available to intervene, which in our view is the worst possible option from a trauma – informed perspective! The causes of teen violence is multifactorial, and a public health concern that we should all be alive to. However, “Adolescence” is a fictional portrayal, and we must be cautious about attributing the reasons behind teen violence solely to Incels, the internet, and social media as depicted in the series. There are many other contributing factors that are not addressed or even hinted at in the show. It’s also crucial for our followers to understand that the scenario of a 13-year-old teen stabbing and murdering another teen, as shown in “Adolescence,” is extremely rare.
Post Script #2
It is important to note that this is not just not a “boy” issue. As Andrew Murfin stated. ” Online spaces amplify toxic narratives – and not just for boys, but for girls too. Andrew Tate may dominate headlines, but influencers like Bonnie Blue and Lily Philips are equally damaging, promoting hypersexualised ideals of femininity that are just as hollow and harmful. Hypermasculine posturing and hyperfeminine performance both send dangerous messages: that value lies in dominance, conquest, or appearance. The damage is felt on both sides.” (12)
References:
2/ https://www.simplypsychology.org/erik-erikson.html
4/ https://thewhitehatter.ca/blog/the-contagion-effect-of-andrew-tate-on-youth-schools/
7/ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E1ndxbD_nsw
12/ https://www.linkedin.com/feed/update/urn:li:activity:7309508242768875523/
