When we hear the words “respect and consent,” our minds often jump straight to discussions about sexual behaviour. While these conversations are important, respect and consent apply to every aspect of life, not just to sexual situations. As parents, caregivers, and educators it’s our responsibility to help youth understand that these principles shape how we interact with others in all situations, from friendships to family relationships, online interactions, and everyday social encounters.
What Is Respect?
Respect means recognizing the value of others and treating them with kindness and consideration. It is reflected in how we speak to people, how we handle their belongings, how we engage with their personal space, and how we interact with them online. Respect is the foundation of all healthy relationships, and it starts with understanding the importance of consent.
What Is Consent?
Consent means agreeing to something with full knowledge of what it entails. It is an essential part of respecting others because it ensures that we do not impose our will upon someone else without their permission.
A key part of consent is that it must be “informed”, meaning that the person fully understands what they are agreeing to. Silence or a lack of resistance does not equal consent. Just because someone doesn’t say “no” outright doesn’t mean they are comfortable or willing.
Additionally, consent is not a one-time deal, it can be withdrawn at any time. This is crucial for youth to understand, as they may initially agree to something but later feel uncomfortable. Teaching them that they can change their minds, and that others have the right to do the same, fosters a culture of mutual respect.
Respect and consent should be part of everyday interactions, not just serious or high-stakes situations. Here are some relatable examples:
- Taking and Sharing Photos: Imagine a child falls asleep on the school bus. Their friend thinks it would be funny to take a picture, post it online, and tag them with a joke. This violates the friend’s consent and can be embarrassing or even harmful. Before taking or sharing someone’s photo, kids should ask for their explicit permission.
- Physical Touch: Some youth may not like hugs or high-fives. Just because one child is comfortable with a certain type of physical interaction doesn’t mean everyone is. Teaching kids to ask, “Is it okay if I give you a hug?” before assuming it’s welcome helps reinforce respect for personal boundaries.
- Borrowing Belongings: If a youth wants to use a sibling’s tablet or a friend’s book, they should ask first. Taking something without permission, even if they assume the person wouldn’t mind, disregards the principle of consent.
Teaching youth about respect and consent starts with modelling these behaviours in everyday life as parents, caregivers, and educators. Kids learn best by example, so parents, caregivers and educators should demonstrate what it looks like to ask for permission, respect someone’s wishes, and acknowledge when consent is withdrawn. By consistently practicing these actions, adults provide youth with a clear understanding of what respectful interactions should look like.
Everyday situations also offer valuable teaching moments. If a youth witnesses an instance where consent or respect is ignored, whether in a TV show, at school, or even at home, parents can pause and discuss it. Asking questions like, “How do you think they felt?” or “What could they have done differently?” helps children develop empathy and critical thinking about consent and boundaries.
Today’s media, from TV shows and movies to social media content, can sometimes blur the important message of respect and consent by normalizing behaviours that contradict these values. Some forms of entertainment, particularly those aimed at younger audiences, often depict characters ignoring boundaries, using persistence to get what they want, or treating consent as something that can be overruled rather than respected.
For example, romantic comedies frequently portray one character relentlessly pursuing another despite clear signs of disinterest, ultimately “winning them over” in the end. While meant to be entertaining, this can send the message that ignoring someone’s initial rejection is acceptable or even admirable. Similarly, in cartoons and sitcoms, physical interactions like hugs, kisses, or pranks are often played for laughs, even when a character expresses discomfort. These portrayals can make it seem like violating personal boundaries is harmless or inconsequential.
Social media and viral trends can further complicate these lessons. Prank videos, for instance, sometimes showcase people being embarrassed or tricked without their consent, reinforcing the idea that someone else’s discomfort is acceptable if it leads to entertainment. Additionally, the pressure to participate in online challenges or share personal content can make young viewers feel that saying “no” isn’t an option, especially when peers or “influencers” normalize certain behaviours, especially those influencers that are teaching young boys to take what they want when it comes to their own success – something known as the “manosphere” (1)
The manosphere, a collection of online communities promoting hyper-masculine and often misogynistic views, can blur the message of respect and consent for teen boys by promoting ideas that undermine the importance of mutual agreement, personal boundaries, and gender equality in relationships. Very popular with teen boys, these communities range from self-improvement forums to more extreme spaces that openly disrespect women, often frame consent as a barrier to be overcome rather than a fundamental aspect of human interaction.
In some manosphere circles, seeking clear consent is mocked as something only “beta males” or “simps” do, while “alpha males” are encouraged to take what they want without asking. This messaging directly contradicts the idea that respect and mutual agreement should be the foundation of healthy relationships. It also fuels harmful myths that real masculinity is about control and dominance rather than partnership and respect. Here, the message is, “winning is more important than respecting another person’s choices.” This messaging directly contradicts the idea that respect and mutual agreement should be the foundation of healthy relationships. It also fuels harmful myths that real masculinity is about control and dominance rather than partnership, consent, and respect.
Because of these mixed messages, it’s essential for parents and caregivers to actively engage with the media their children consume. By discussing what they see and encouraging critical thinking, adults can help kids recognize when media contradicts the principles of respect and consent. Asking questions like, “Did that character respect the other person’s choice?” or “What would have been a better way to handle that situation?” can help youth develop a more accurate and thoughtful understanding of boundaries.
Empowering youth to speak up is equally important. Kids should feel confident expressing their discomfort when their boundaries are crossed. At the same time, they should be taught to listen and respond appropriately when someone else expresses discomfort. Reinforcing the idea that consent can be withdrawn is crucial as well. Just because someone agrees to something once doesn’t mean that agreement is permanent. For example, if a friend initially agrees to play a game but later wants to stop, that decision should be respected without question.
In today’s onlife world, consent extends beyond physical interactions. Teaching kids digital literacy and etiquette, such as asking for permission before sharing someone else’s pictures, videos, or personal information online, is essential. Youth should also understand that their online actions can have lasting consequences. Similarly, respect for privacy should be emphasized in all areas of life. Simple habits like knocking before entering a room, giving people personal space, and respecting online diaries or journals help reinforce the importance of consent in everyday interactions. By fostering these values early on, parents and caregivers equip youth with the skills to build respectful and healthy relationships both online and offline.
By teaching our youth respect and consent in everyday life, we help them develop empathy, communication skills, and a strong moral compass. They learn how to build and maintain positive relationships while avoiding situations where boundaries are ignored or disrespected. When respect and consent become second nature, youth are better equipped to navigate friendships, social situations, and, eventually, romantic relationships in a way that prioritizes kindness and integrity.
Ultimately, respect and consent are about fostering a culture where people feel valued, safe, and heard. By embedding these principles into daily life, we empower youth to become respectful and compassionate individuals who understand the importance of honouring others’ boundaries, both online and offline.
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References:
1/ https://thewhitehatter.ca/blog/the-rise-of-the-manosphere-a-growing-challenge-for-schools-parents-caregivers/
