As digital literacy and internet safety advocates and coaches who regularly present to parents in Canada and the United States, we often get asked, “At what age do you recommend giving a child a cell phone or computer?”
Our opinion, the age of a child is not the primary factor to consider. Instead, it’s their social and emotional maturity that should determine their readiness for independent use of technology without constant parental supervision. This is particularly relevant if a child faces challenges with conflict, lacks impulse control, or struggles to respect boundaries.
As Dr. Devorah Heitner, a child safety advocate has stated,
“A birthday milestone, or some far-off date in the future will not ensure your child’s readiness for the responsibility that comes having the entire world a swipe away. Instead, consider independence milestones—ways for your child to demonstrate readiness.
Here are some milestones to consider:
- Making lunch without help
- Walking home from school alone
- Spending a brief time home alone
- Babysitting a younger child for short windows of time
- Riding public transit independently
- Organized with homework
If your child is demonstrating independence in many of the above milestones, they could be ready or ready soon. If not, you can consider setting progressive milestones for your child to work towards to demonstrate readiness.”
Here’s what Dr. Natasha Burgert stated, which dovetails nicely with what Dr. Heitner mentioned above:
Rather than thinking of a specific age as the milestone, reframe the decision with the developmental readiness of your child in mind. Before buying a smartphone for your child, consider attributes that are associated with more successful digital use.
Milestones I consider important for smartphone readiness include:
- Having more ability for complex thoughts and improved reasoning
- Starting to understand tone, idiom and sarcasm
- Developing their own solutions
- Demonstrating early long-range planning
- Showing signs of empathy, or thinking of others
- Developing a stronger sense of right and wrong
- Showing more interest in and influence by their peer group
- Responding appropriately to limits and boundaries
- Improved communication for wants and needs
If your child is beginning to show these developmental skills, or there is a family situation in which digital connection is necessary, it may be time for the smartphone.
However, there are some basic principles for using and owning technology that we would recommend to parents and caregivers when providing technology to youth. Using the analogy of teaching youth how to ride a bike as a benchmark to their access and use of technology, we would recommend the following when it comes to phones and computers:
Preteens – pedal trike approach:
Minimized mobility and no accessibility, enhanced stability, and full parental engagement and overwatch.
Instead of a smartphone, we would recommend:
- A digital watch. Not an iWatch but rather a specific designed smarter watch for kiddos like the Garmin Bounce (1) which can allow text and voice communication with your child, or
- A basic flip phone that has the ability to text and talk only
Younger teens – pedal bike with training wheels approach
More mobility with some accessibility, teaching, and assisting with balance, allowing some increased travel distance online, combined with full parental engagement and overwatch.
Instead of a smartphone or fully functioning laptop, we would recommend:
- A minimalist phone like the Wisephone (2) or The PinWheel Phone (3) YES – we have tested both, and YES – both work in Canada.
- If you are going to provide them with a hand-me-down iPhone, turn it into a minimalist phone (4)
- Rather than a full-functioning laptop, we would recommend the Tanoshi Computer (5)
Mid-teens – bicycle built for two approach
Greater mobility and accessibility online, training wheels removed given balance has been learned but not fully mastered, but still parent guided.
Instead of an iPhone we would recommend:
- choose a basic Android phone with a parental monitoring app like the Boomerang app (6)
- Rather than a full-functioning laptop chose a Chrome Book
- Combine both with the family-based messaging app Kinzoo (7)
Older teens – mountain bike approach
Full mobility and accessibility, unlimited distance, full independence, and parent there if needed. Here, the teen is showing consistently good digital literacy and maturity so now the iPhone, Apple laptop, or iWatch as an option would be reasonable.
No matter what the bike (technology), our kids should not be riding without a protective helmet.
- Combine their chosen bike (technology) with the wrap-around approach that the Gryphon Home Router, and their App “Homebound” offer when it comes to allowing connectivity to the internet both inside and outside the home (8)
Remember, no matter what the tech, to keep our kiddos safer online, it’s all about a transformational approach to parenting in today’s onlife world, rather than a tech-centric approach in isolation – something that we speak to here:
Digital Food For Thought
The White Hatter
References
1/ https://youtu.be/3QARebpaBZc?si=-c2hyCu8Z_KuJn-z
2/https://thewhitehatter.ca/blog/wisephone-review/
3/ (https://thewhitehatter.ca/blog/pinwheel-phone-for-young-teens-review/)
4/ https://thewhitehatter.ca/how-to-turn-a-hand-me-down-old-iphone-into-a-minimalist-phone-for-youth/
