In today’s onlife world, cell phones have become an integral part of our lives, connecting us to the world and to each other. However, as parents, it’s crucial for us to recognize that our actions with these devices have a significant impact on our children, especially teenagers. In this blog post, we’ll discuss the importance of why parents and caregivers should be mindful of their cellphone usage around their teens, and how it can influence our kid’s behavior and values when it comes to the use of their devices.
Our phones have evolved from mere communication devices to all-encompassing entertainment centers, work tools, and information hubs. While these devices offer undeniable benefits, they can also consume our attention to the detriment of our personal relationships, particularly with our children.
It’s not uncommon for teens to voice to us their frustration about their parents’ cellphone habits. They notice when parents prioritize their phones over meaningful conversations with them! In a world where teenagers are striving for independence and seeking guidance, our choice to be on our phones or technology instead of being present in their lives can sometimes lead to feelings of neglect and frustration in our kids.
One recurring complaint among teenagers that we hear – parents are often on their phones, scrolling through social media or responding to work emails, during family interactions. In fact, according to new research, three out of five American parents admit that they spend more time on their electronic devices than their kids do (1). As an example, we have seen this at sporting events where a teen athlete is on the court and instead of a parent watching their child’s athletic endeavors from the stands, their heads are instead buried in their phone scrolling away. While parents may insist they are listening and paying attention, the reality is they are not. Teens can sense when their parents’ attention is divided, and it can make them feel unimportant and unheard.
When teens attempt to engage in conversation with their parents, whether it’s about their day at school, their dreams, aspirations, or concerns they might have, they desire genuine attention and engagement from their parents. By consistently choosing their phone over their children, parents can inadvertently send a message that their phone holds more value than their family relationships.
Teaching consent is an essential aspect of parenting especially when it comes to body autonomy, but this can extend to how we use our smartphones as well, especially when it comes to taking pictures or videos of others. Teens are at an age where they are exploring boundaries, both online and offline, and they often mimic the behaviors they observe in their parents. We are our kid’s best teachers!
If we want our teens to understand the importance of obtaining consent before sharing someone else’s image, we must lead by example. This means asking for our kid’s permission before taking their picture or sharing it on social media. By demonstrating the importance of respecting personal boundaries, we help our teens develop a deeper understanding of consent and privacy when it comes to their use of technology.
One of the most critical areas where parental actions speak louder than words is safe driving. Parents frequently advise their teenagers not to text and drive, emphasizing the dangers of distracted driving. However, some parents are guilty of engaging in this risky behavior themselves.
When parents use their phones behind the wheel, they not only compromise their own safety but also set a hazardous example for their teens. It sends a mixed message that can undermine the importance of safe driving practices. To truly instill the value of responsible behavior on the road, parents must adhere to the same standards they expect from their teenagers.
As parents and caregivers, it’s our responsibility to be mindful of our phone usage and its impact on our kids. The constant presence of phones can sometimes hinder our ability to connect with our kids on a meaningful level, leaving them feeling unheard and undervalued. By prioritizing face-to-face interactions with our kids and modeling consent in our phone usage, we can foster healthier relationships with our teens and impart important life lessons about consent, respect, interpersonal communication, and digital literacy.
Our actions speak louder than our words. By demonstrating through our own behavior the values we wish to instill in our teens when it comes to their phones, we can help them navigate the digital world with empathy, respect, and a sense of responsibility.
When it comes to our use of cell phones as parents – if you’re going to talk the talk, you’ve got to walk the walk when it comes to our kids!
Digital Food For Thought
The White Hatter
References:
(1) https://studyfinds.org/parents-screen-time-children/
Related Readings:
“Is My Child Ready For A Cellphone”
