When parents and caregivers imagine child sexual predators, the stereotype that often comes to mind is that of a “dirty old man”, a suspicious figure, visibly disconnected from youth and lurking in dark corners of the internet. Yet, recent data and studies paint a far more complex and nuanced picture. According to Statistics Canada, individuals involved in online child exploitation are frequently much younger than expected, with most perpetrators in their early to mid-twenties. The median age of men accused of online child sexual exploitation is 24, while those involved in child pornography offences have a median age of 29. This modern profile challenges outdated perceptions, underscoring that predators aren’t always visibly different from their victims and may actually present themselves in ways that appeal to younger individuals.
This myth of the “dirty old man” not only misrepresents the age and appearance of many offenders but also blinds parents and caregivers to potential risks from younger adults who may interact regularly with their children. Assuming a predator fits a specific look or age can foster a false sense of security, limiting the ability to recognize more subtle, yet equally dangerous, online grooming tactics. This is especially important when we know that most people who will target our kids will be someone who the child, parent, or caregiver either knows, loves, or trusts.
In addition, contrary to the popular notion that predators often lie about their age, some deliberately disclose it to appear trustworthy and relatable. By challenging these myths, parents and caregivers can develop a more realistic understanding of the varied forms online exploitation can take, equipping them to better guide and protect their children. So let’s take a closer look at two commonly held myths:
Myth #1: Predators are “Dirty Old Men”
A common myth suggests that child predators are mostly “dirty old men” – isolated, suspicious figures who have little in common with the young people they target. However, research and law enforcement data reveal that those involved in online child exploitation are often younger than expected, frequently in their early to mid-twenties. As Stats Canada reported out (1)
“The vast majority (91%) of people accused of online child sexual exploitation and abuse (including sexual violations against children and child pornography) were men and boys—and they were generally much older than victims. The median age of men and boys accused of online sexual offences against children was 24 years, and men and boys accused of child pornography had a median age of 29 years. Non-consensual distribution of intimate images online involved victims and accused persons with a median age of 15.”
Assuming that child predators are older men can create a false sense of security and overlook younger offenders. When parents and caregivers expect predators to fit a specific stereotype, they might miss signs from younger individuals who interact with their children both online and offline. This misconception also reinforces an outdated “stranger danger” mindset that doesn’t reflect the digital reality of today’s grooming tactics. (2)(3)
Myths #2: Sexual Predators Lie About Their Age
Contrary to popular belief, many online predators don’t always hide their age or identity, and this openness can be a tactic designed to build trust and normalize inappropriate relationships. Studies have shown that predators often use “grooming” techniques that rely on transparency, honesty, and an appeal to authority or mentorship to establish connections with younger individuals. (4) When predators openly admit their age, they may be attempting to reduce the perceived threat, giving young people the impression that they’re “safe” and “trustworthy.”
Here’s a look at why predators sometimes don’t hide their age:
- Research on online grooming indicates that, in some cases, a predator’s openness about their age can lead minors to view them as “less threatening” or even as mentors. A study by Craven, Brown, and Gilchrist (5) outlines how online groomers use trust-building behaviors, such as self-disclosure, to appear relatable and non-threatening, fostering a sense of friendship and reliability that makes the target feel safe, despite the age difference.
- Some predators frame their interactions as friendships or mentorships, convincing young people that an age difference doesn’t matter. By not hiding their age, they may reinforce a message that their relationship is “normal” or that age differences are irrelevant both online or off line. This approach can disarm a young person’s defenses, as noted in research from Briggs, Simon, and Simonsen (6), which found that offenders often downplay the risks of adult-teen relationships by normalizing them.
- Some predators may use their age as a way to exert a subtle power dynamic, portraying themselves as experienced or knowledgeable, which can appeal to teenagers seeking guidance or validation. This dynamic is examined by Whittle et al. (7), who analyzed grooming patterns and found that some adults leverage their age to portray themselves as “wise” or “protective.”
- Openly acknowledging their age may also appeal to a teen’s desire for autonomy or rebellion against parental control. When a predator is forthright about being older, they might frame the relationship as a “mature” bond that is misunderstood by society, encouraging the teen to keep it a secret and appealing to a developmental desire to push boundaries, which is a well-documented adolescent trait (8).
These approaches highlight how sexual predators can sometimes manipulate their victims without concealing their age, using honesty to undermine typical caution signals that teens might otherwise recognize
Misconceptions about who child sex predators are, and how they operate, can leave parents and caregivers unprepared to recognize the real threats their children face online. While the stereotype of the “dirty old man” persists, data shows that many offenders in online child exploitation are young adults, frequently in their early to mid-twenties. A false sense of security rooted in these stereotypes may prevent parents and caregivers from recognizing warning signs from younger offenders who are often well-versed in digital platforms and grooming tactics.
The belief that predators commonly lie about their age ignores a dangerous reality – some predators intentionally disclose their age to build trust, present themselves as mentors, or encourage secrecy under the guise of an “understood” relationship. These offenders can exploit young people’s natural curiosity, desire for autonomy, and search for validation. By challenging these myths, parents and caregivers can better educate themselves and their children about the varied forms of online exploitation, promoting vigilance and safety in digital interactions.
Educating ourselves about the true demographics and methods of offenders enables us to dismantle outdated perceptions and better safeguard our children. (9) Recognizing the complexities of grooming tactics, including how honesty is sometimes weaponized, is crucial for protecting youth in a digital landscape where boundaries are easily blurred.
Parents and caregivers play a crucial role in guiding their children to navigate online spaces safely. By understanding that child exploitation is not limited to “dirty old men” but often includes teens and young adults with nuanced grooming tactics, parents and educators can better educate and protect their children. Conversations about online safety need to evolve to reflect these realities, emphasizing not only the importance of recognizing harmful behaviors but also teaching children how to identify trustworthy relationships.
Open discussions around the complexity of online grooming and exploitation can empower children to recognize and resist manipulation, regardless of the predator’s age. For instance, teaching children to question why someone older might seek a friendship or personal relationship with them helps them develop critical thinking and caution. By providing young people with these tools and fostering an open line of communication, parents and caregivers can help them feel safer sharing any uncomfortable interactions they may encounter in today’s onlife world.
Digital Food For Thought
The White Hatter
Facts Not Fear, Facts Not Emotion, Enlighten Not Frighten, Know Tech Not No Tech
References:
1/ https://www150.statcan.gc.ca/n1/pub/85-002-x/2022001/article/00008-eng.htm
2/ https://thewhitehatter.ca/blog/stranger-danger-doesnt-work-in-the-real-world-or-online-world/
3/ https://thewhitehatter.ca/blog/why-teaching-stranger-danger-doesnt-work-an-onlife-world-perspective/
4/ https://thewhitehatter.ca/online-sexual-predation-and-exploitation/
5/ https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2006-23335-007
6/ https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2011-04034-005
8/ https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/24438579/
9/ https://thewhitehatter.ca/online-sexual-predation-and-exploitation/
