CAVEAT – Recently, we participated in an online webinar where Melissa Strobel, a representative from Thorn, posed the question, ‘How do we teach youth the difference between sexual exploration online and sexual exploitation online?’ This was a pivotal light-bulb moment for us at The White Hatter – something we don’t often discuss as parents and caregivers with our kids, but absolutely should. Here are some of our thoughts for you as parents and caregivers to consider.
In today’s onlife world, like it or not, the reality is that teens often navigate sexual exploration in ways previous generations couldn’t have imagined – much of it happens online – something that we anecdotally hear from teens all the time. While sexual development and curiosity are a natural part of adolescence, the internet introduces a layer of complexity that can blur the line between healthy sexual exploration and harmful sexual exploitation. This is one significant reason why such a topic needs to form a part of today’s healthy human sexuality education in schools and at home.
As parents and caregivers, it’s crucial to distinguish between normalizing teen sexual exploration online and protecting against sexual exploitation. Understanding this difference helps foster healthy conversations, encourages teens to think critically about these topics, and empowers them to make informed choices, reducing their exposure to online risks
Sexual Exploration:
We believe that teen sexual exploration refers to the natural curiosity and behaviors that adolescents experience as they learn about their own bodies, relationships, and desires. This phase is critical for identity development and can involve a range of activities – yes, some of which now occur in online spaces.
Examples of teen sexual exploration might include:
- Teens may access pornography, sexual health websites, videos, or online peer-based forums for information.
- Teens may engage in private conversations with trusted friends or partners about sexual feelings and experiences online.
- While this practice can be controversial, sending an intimate image in a private, consensual, non-exploitive relationship can be a part of consensual digital relationships and reflects sexual exploration within the bounds of mutual respect and consent.
The idea of normalizing teen sexual exploration online does not mean encouraging risky behavior, but rather accepting that technology and the internet is now a space where teens will inevitably explore these aspects of themselves. When teens are empowered to understand their own bodies, boundaries, desires, and the consequences of their actions, they are more likely to make healthy decisions – also known as critical thinking!
To promote positive sexual exploration online, parents can:
- Ensure teens understand the importance of mutual consent in both real-life and digital interactions. (1)
- Teach teens about the risks of sharing intimate content and ways to protect themselves from online predators (2)
- Provide teens with access to trustworthy sexual health resources, so they don’t turn to unreliable or harmful sources.
By normalizing safe and consensual exploration, parents can guide teens through these developmental stages, helping them understand the difference between healthy interactions and exploitative situations.
Sexual Exploitation
Teen sexual exploitation, on the other hand, refers to situations where a young person is coerced, manipulated, or deceived into sexual activities, online or offline, that are harmful, non-consensual, and/or illegal. (3) In these cases, perpetrators seek to take advantage of a teen’s vulnerability, often for personal or financial gain.
Forms of teen sexual exploitation online can include but are not limited to:
- Sextortion: This occurs when someone threatens to distribute private, often sexual, images or videos of a teen unless they comply with specific demands – often more images, money, sexual acts, or as leverage to force their partner to say in an abusive relationship.
- Online grooming: Predators may use social media, gaming platforms, or messaging apps to build trust with teens, only to exploit that trust to engage in sexual conversations, solicit explicit content, or to recruit them into the sex trade either online or offline.
- Non-consensual distribution of intimate images: When private images shared consensually between partners are distributed without consent, it becomes a crime and is a form of exploitation.
The Difference: Exploration vs. Exploitation
The line between exploration and exploitation may seem thin, especially in online spaces where teens might share intimate content or engage in relationships. However, the difference lies in consent, power dynamics, and intent.
- Consent: In healthy exploration, both parties willingly participate and respect each other’s boundaries. In exploitation, one party is coerced, pressured, or deceived.
- Power Dynamics: Exploitation often involves an imbalance of power, whether through age, authority, or knowledge – where one party takes advantage of another. This imbalance is not present in consensual sexual exploration between peers.
- Intent: In sexual exploration, the intent is usually curiosity, self-discovery, or relationship building. In exploitation, the intent is to harm, control, or gain something at the expense of the teen’s well-being.
So, What Can Parents Do To Help Teens Understand The Difference?
Given the blurred lines between exploration and exploitation (that some teens may not clearly understand) how can parent’s guide teens through their sexual development while protecting them from potential dangers?
- Educate yourself by turning to experts such as Powerup Sexual Health education (4) or Dr Jillian Roberts (5)
- Let your teen know they can come to you with questions or concerns without fear of judgment. This can help prevent them from seeking answers in riskier spaces online.
- Help teens develop critical thinking skills so they can recognize when a situation might be exploitative. Encourage them to question the motives of others they interact with online – especially if thing start to get sexual quickly
- Equip teens with the facts about consent, online predators, and the dangers of sharing intimate content. Teens who understand these concepts are more likely to make informed decisions.
- Talk with them about the contents of this article.
In a world where technology and digital interactions are a significant part of teenage life, parents must help their teens distinguish between healthy sexual exploration and harmful exploitation. By normalizing open, informed conversations about online sexuality, you can empower your teen to make safe and respectful choices while navigating the complex world of digital relationships.
Sexual exploration is part of growing up, but it must be done with respect for boundaries and with full consent. Parents who actively engage in these conversations can help teens protect themselves from the real dangers of online sexual exploitation – knowledge and the understanding and application of that knowledge is power!
Thank you once again to Melissa Strobel for prompting critical reflection with her question, which inspired us to write this blog article!
Digital Food For Thought
The White Hatter
Facts Not Fear, Facts Not Emotions, Enlighten Not Frighten, Know Tech Not No Tech
References:
1/ https://thewhitehatter.ca/informed-consent-a-guide-for-parents-and-teens/
2/ https://thewhitehatter.ca/intimate-images-nudes-sexting-deepfakes-and-sugaring/
3/ https://thewhitehatter.ca/online-sexual-predation-and-exploitation/
4/ https://www.powerupeducation.com/
5/ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IxXmaiXXyJU&list=PLoVKKRoNdLhsNRgLjZ_5FEVkOBxI6nY8I&index=13
