In recent years, the onlifeworld has evolved at an astonishing pace, drawing each new generation deeper into the use of technology and the internet. While today’s parents and caregivers often see their children as “digital natives,” it’s important to remember that millennials, the first generation to grow up with technology and the internet, were not naturally adept digital citizens. Australian psychologist Jocelyn Brewer aptly describes millennials as the first generation of “digital orphans,” a perspective we at The White Hatter wholeheartedly support. Growing up in an online environment that even their parents couldn’t fully grasp, millennials lacked guidance on how to navigate the onlife landscape safely, wisely, and responsibly.
Being a digital orphan means millennials were left to learn about technology through a process of trial and error. With no one in their family equipped to advise them on how to use the internet effectively and safely, they became their own teachers. If they stumbled into harmful situations online, from chatting with strangers in AOL chatrooms to encountering early internet scams, there was little support or understanding from their parents, who were often unaware of these online activities. This disconnect gave rise to a unique set of challenges for millennials, including a lack of boundaries, a focus on digital experimentation, and minimal guidance on how to form healthy online habits.
For millennials, learning to navigate the internet was, for the most part, a solo journey. From downloading music on Napster to participating in MySpace and early Facebook, millennials often only discovered the consequences of digital behaviors once they’d made mistakes. This lack of adult oversight made their digital upbringing starkly different from today’s more regulated, supervised online experiences.
For example, a millennial might have learned the hard way about the permanency of digital posts. Social media was brand new, and very few had foreseen the long-lasting impact of online digital dossiers. Imagine a teenager posting a rant on MySpace, unaware that years later, potential employers might still be able to find it. Without parental advice on digital permanence, many millennials learned the reality of a “digital dossier” too late.
The disconnect between millennials and their parents or caregivers when it came to digital understanding was stark. Most parents and caregivers had no experience with email, chat rooms, or early social media and were largely unaware of the risks and rewards the internet presented. So, they approached technology as something foreign or even threatening. This gap created not just misunderstandings but missed opportunities for bonding, guidance, and support in the face of challenges like cyberbullying, digital identity formation, and early online communities.
Today’s teens and pre-teens are more likely to turn to their parent or caregiver for advice about a friend’s rude Instagram comment or an unwelcome message from a stranger. In contrast, a millennial teenager dealing with similar situations might have had to navigate these alone, with no one who could advise them about online etiquette or managing internet friendships. This gap often meant millennials had to build their digital lives in isolation, resulting in disconnected parenting that rarely addressed the impact of technology.
Understanding the digital orphan experience millennials went through offers important lessons for parents and caregivers of today’s generation. Rather than assuming kids will figure it out on their own, or that they instinctively know how to use technology safely, parents should prioritize open conversations and active digital literacy education. Here are some ways to bridge the gap:
- Millennials often navigated online challenges in isolation. Today’s parents and caregivers can take a different approach by encouraging their children to openly discuss their online experiences – both positive and negative. Questions like “What’s your favorite app right now?” or “What’s the coolest thing you learned online recently?” can open the door to honest conversations and mutual learning.
- Millennials often grew up with a “hands-off” or reactionary approach to technology from their parents or caregivers. To avoid repeating this, today’s parents can be more proactive. Instead of only monitoring children’s online activity for safety, take the time to help children understand why certain behaviors are risky, such as oversharing or engaging with those they just met online. Explain the potential long-term effects of online actions, from digital dossiers to privacy concerns.
- Millennials had few examples of digital role models in their family. Parents and caregivers today can set examples by modeling responsible technology use, showing their children how to manage screen time, share thoughtfully, and protect personal information online. For instance, parents and caregivers can involve children in simple activities like setting privacy settings together or evaluating app permissions as a family learning opportunity.
- Since millennials grew up figuring things out largely on their own, they may have developed resilience but often lacked the digital literacy we now understand to be essential. Today’s parents and caregivers can encourage critical thinking by teaching children to question online content, recognize biased or misleading information, and make informed decisions about what they share and engage with online.
Interestingly, many millennials who once felt the void of disconnected digital parenting are now becoming parents themselves. This “trial-and-error generation” often seeks to take a more involved, informed approach with their own children. They’re aware of the risks associated with being left to navigate digital spaces alone, and they’re keen to prevent their children from feeling like “digital orphans.”
But challenges remain. As the onlife world continues to evolve, millennials, as well as older generations, must remain adaptable, learning and relearning alongside their children. Apps, social media platforms, and new risks like artificial intelligence emerge rapidly, making it difficult to stay ahead. However, the key is embracing open, honest communication about these topics, even if parents don’t always have all the answers.
The “digital orphan” experience of millennials highlights the importance of actively teaching and modeling online literacy, rather than assuming children will figure it out on their own. Today’s parents and caregivers have an opportunity to be “digital mentors and sheepdogs,” equipped with the lessons learned from a generation that navigated the digital world in isolation. Through open communication, intentional guidance, and modeling good digital habits, parents can help today’s children grow into informed, resilient digital citizens.
As technology continues to advance at a rapid pace, parents and caregivers will inevitably face new challenges in keeping up with emerging platforms, online trends, and potential risks. However, embracing a mindset of adaptability and lifelong learning can help bridge these gaps. Even if parents and caregivers don’t have all the answers, a willingness to learn alongside their children can foster trust and openness, making it easier for youth to discuss online experiences and concerns as they arise.
Parents and caregivers today have the opportunity to move beyond simply monitoring or banning their children’s online activity, toward creating a collaborative environment where digital literacy is a shared family value. By treating technology as something to explore together, parents can help children not only avoid pitfalls but also seize the positive potential of the onlife world, from learning and creativity to social connections and personal growth.
The lessons from the “digital orphan” generation remind us that an informed, intentional approach to technology use is essential. Rather than leaving children to figure things out alone, parents can guide them in understanding the importance of privacy, recognizing misinformation, managing their digital dossiers, and making thoughtful choices online. In doing so, they equip their children to be responsible, compassionate, and confident onlife participants who can navigate the future with resilience and wisdom. This is a legacy that will serve not only their children but future generations, ensuring a more thoughtful, empowered digital community for years to come.
With this guidance, hopefully, the next generation will have a safer, more connected journey through the onlife world – one that millennials didn’t always have but can now help create for their children.
Digital Food For Thought
The White Hatter
Facts Not Fear, Facts Not Emotions, Enlighten Not Frighten, Know Tech Not No Tech
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