Over the past 12 months, much has been made of the so-called “anxious generation”, kids who are supposedly more stressed, more depressed, and more fragile than ever before. The culprit? According to some, it’s technology, the internet, and social media. But what if the real anxious generation isn’t our kids at all? What if it’s us parents and caregivers who have become the anxious generation because we are absorbing every worst-case scenario about the digital world without stepping back to consider the full picture?
It’s easy to feel overwhelmed as a parent or caregiver today. News headlines, expert warnings, books, and social media feeds are filled with dire messages about the dangers of technology: cyberbullying, online predators, sexting, social media addiction, the disruption of learning in school, and mental health challenges. These concerns are not necessarily unfounded, but they often lack balance. What we don’t hear nearly as often are the success stories about how technology is connecting kids to communities, enhancing their education, fostering creativity, and helping them develop essential digital literacy skills.
As parents and caregivers, we are bombarded with cautionary tales and stories about technology, and because we care deeply about our children’s well-being, we internalize these fears. But here’s the problem: when we let fear dominate our thinking, we risk making decisions based on emotions rather than evidence. We can end up restricting technology in ways that are more harmful than helpful or creating an environment of distrust that discourages open communication with our kids.
We have now presented to over 655,000 youth and teens and anecdotally we have found that most young people are navigating the digital world just fine. They are learning, socializing, and growing in ways that previous generations never could. While it’s true that some struggle, it’s also true that many are thriving. As Dr Pete Etchells has stated “So instead of asking, does social media use cause mental health issues? perhaps a better question might be: why do some people prosper online while others get into real difficulty?” (1) Youth and teens today are using technology to launch businesses, build social movements, develop digital skills for future careers, and find support for mental health challenges.
We have found that youth and teens today are often far more digitally literate than we give them credit for. Many understand privacy settings, recognize clickbait, and can discern between reliable and unreliable sources of information. (2) When we assume they are helpless victims of technology, we do them a disservice.
When parents and caregivers view technology solely as a threat, it changes how we interact with our children. We may become overly restrictive, constantly monitoring their activity, and warning them about worst-case scenarios which can lead to unnecessary stress and conflict. This hyper-vigilance can create fear in youth and teens as well, making them feel like or communities and the world is far more dangerous than it actually is.
Alternatively, if we choose a more balanced approach, one that acknowledges both the risks and rewards of technology, we can foster healthier conversations with our kids. Instead of just setting rules, we can set expectations. Instead of just limiting screen use, we can encourage screen value. Instead of assuming the worst, we can model curiosity and adaptability, showing our kids how to use technology responsibly and with purpose.
Finding Balance
Parents and caregivers looking to ease their anxieties and adopt a more balanced perspective on technology can start by actively seeking out positive stories. While headlines often highlight the dangers of digital spaces, countless young people use technology in innovative and meaningful ways, whether through creative expression, activism, or problem-solving. Seeking out these examples can help counterbalance the negative narratives that dominate discussions about youth and technology.
Another crucial step is engaging in genuine, two-way conversations with youth and teens about their online experiences. Instead of simply issuing warnings or setting rules, parents and caregivers should ask questions, listen attentively to their kid’s perspectives, and share their own concerns without resorting to fear-mongering. Creating an open dialogue fosters trust and ensures that youth and teens feel comfortable discussing both the positive and challenging aspects of their digital lives. Youth and teens have a lot to offer us adult, we adults just need to be willing to listen.
Educating oneself about the platforms youth and teens use is also essential. Rather than reacting out of fear or misinformation, parents and caregivers who take the time to understand how social media apps, gaming platforms, and other digital tools function are better equipped to make informed decisions. Staying informed allows parents and caregivers to provide guidance based on knowledge rather than assumption. We provide a ton of these free resources on our website. (3)
Just as important as educating youth and teens is parents and caregivers modelling healthy technology habits. Youth and teens learn by example, and when parents and caregivers demonstrate a balanced approach to technology, setting their own boundaries, taking breaks, and engaging in critical thinking online, it encourages their children to do the same. Leading by example fosters a household culture where technology is used mindfully and with intention.
It’s important to recognize the good in digital spaces. While risks certainly exist, the internet is also a place of opportunity, connection, and learning. Parents and caregivers can help youth and teens to navigate online spaces safely while also encouraging them to explore the many positive aspects of technology. By embracing a nuanced perspective, families can maximize the benefits of the digital world while taking thoughtful steps to mitigate potential risks.
In the end, it’s our belief that it’s not technology itself that is making today’s youth anxious, it’s how we, as parents and caregivers, respond to it. If we allow fear to dictate our approach, we risk raising children who see the digital world as something to be feared rather than navigated with confidence and skill. But when we shift our perspective and acknowledge that technology is not inherently harmful, we create space for more productive conversations, healthier boundaries, and opportunities for growth.
Youth and teens are not passive victims of the internet. They are active participants in a digital landscape that is constantly evolving. Rather than assuming the worst, we should equip them with the tools they need to thrive, by modelling responsible tech use, fostering open dialogue, and recognizing both the risks and rewards of digital spaces. When we approach technology with curiosity rather than fear, we empower our youth and teens to make informed decisions, build resilience, and develop the digital literacy skills necessary for the world they are growing up in.
By seeking balance rather than restriction, trust rather than control, and education rather than alarm, we can break free from the cycle of anxiety and emotions that too often dominates conversations about kids and technology. The reality is, most young people are doing just fine, they are learning, adapting, and finding their place in today’s onlife world that will be an integral part of their future. As parents and caregivers, our role is not to shield them from this reality, but to guide them through it with confidence, support, and a willingness to embrace the possibilities that technology has to offer in an age and developmentally appropriate way.
Yes, technology presents challenges. Yes, kids need guidance. But they are not doomed, and we don’t need to parent from a place of fear. The real anxious generation is not our children, it’s us parents and caregivers. If we can shift our mindset, educate ourselves, and embrace a more balanced view, we will not only reduce our own stress but also empower our kids to navigate the digital world with confidence and resilience. Let’s lead by example and show them that technology, when used wisely, is not something to fear but something to embrace.
Digital Food For Thought
The White Hatter
Fact Not Fear, Facts Not Emotions, Enlighten Not Frighten, Know Tech Not No Tech
References
2/ https://cyberbullying.org/teens-view-of-social-media-in-2025
