As parents and caregivers, our primary goal is to protect our children, keep them safe, and ensure they grow into healthy, well-adjusted adults. In today’s fast-paced onlife world, we are constantly bombarded with information about the potential risks that social media, smartphones, and technology present to our kids. While evidence-based research is available to guide us in making informed decisions, it’s often our emotions, particularly fear and worry, that take control. This can lead to decisions and actions that might seem protective but are, in fact, in conflict with what the good evidence-based research suggests is most beneficial.
One significant factor contributing to this dynamic is parental understanding (or lack thereof) of technology. We get it, when parents don’t understand the intricacies of modern tech, their natural instinct may be to fear it and push back against their children’s use. While this may appear protective, it can inadvertently create a wedge between parents and kids. Instead of fostering open conversations about online safety and responsible use, parents and caregivers may impose strict restrictions or outright bans on devices, increasing their child’s vulnerability by driving their exploration underground.
When emotions run high, they can create a ripple effect, spreading through communities like wildfire. This emotional response can fuel a social contagion, a phenomenon where collective fear or anxiety spreads rapidly, pushing others to adopt the same emotional stance. In some cases, this contagion is not just a natural occurrence but one that can be deliberately exploited by groups with their own agendas.
To understand why our emotions can override evidence, we must first recognize the way the human brain operates. The “Limbic System,” which governs our emotions, acts as our internal alarm system. When we perceive a threat, whether real or imagined, our brain reacts to keep us and our loved ones safe. For parents and caregivers, this emotional system is deeply connected to our children’s well-being, amplifying feelings of fear or concern in ways that may lead us to act quickly.
On the other hand, the “Prefrontal Cortex,” the rational, evidence-evaluating part of our brain, takes a more analytical approach. It sifts through facts, weighs options, and makes balanced decisions based on logic. But when emotions are heightened, particularly by fear, the “Limbic System” often overpowers the “Prefrontal Cortex.” Even in the face of strong evidence, the emotional side of our brain can push us toward decisions that aren’t necessarily grounded in facts – something we are currently witnessing in the public discourse when it comes to our kids and their use of technology.
This emotional dominance explains why parents may gravitate toward sensationalized narratives about the dangers of technology, social media, or the internet, even when there is ample evidence suggesting otherwise. (1)(2) Media outlets and advocacy groups may emphasize the most extreme outcomes, such as online predators, cyberbullying, or harmful content, that feed into a parent’s or caregiver’s worst fears. We want to acknowledge that these risks DO exist and something we speak to in-depth about (3); however, the research often shows that “some” are not as widespread as they are portrayed, and that empowering children through digital literacy education is more effective than restriction or fear-based responses to deal with these real risks.
As highlighted by Professor Linda Kaye in a recently published research study this month (4):
“We should be very cautious in making claims about the effects of general social media use on mental health, particularly when informing policymakers, because the research itself is of questionable rigor. Often when you see findings reported on this topic, the evidence doesn’t stand up.”
This brings into focus the importance of “good science” in such a critical debate. Given that social media is now deeply embedded in society, there is an urgent need to understand what the evidence base truly is. We must not jump to conclusions that don’t stand up to scrutiny, especially when making decisions that will impact not only the daily lives of children but also the laws and regulations surrounding social media and tech use.
Fear is not just an individual emotion; it can spread rapidly through communities. When parents and caregivers encounter alarming stories or sensationalized reports, they are likely to share their concerns with others. As more parents and caregivers echo the same fears, those fears can become amplified. This is known as a social contagion, where an emotional response like fear spreads from person to person and influences behavior on a larger scale. This is why we like to use the fear acronym – False Evidence Appearing Real – to describe such a social contagion when it comes to technology and the internet.
Once a group adopts a collective fear, it can lead to widespread behavioral changes, such as parents pulling their children off social media platforms or rallying for stricter regulations surrounding the use of technology based on a shared, emotionally charged narrative. The more people express their fears, the more it validates and strengthens those fears in others, creating a cycle of emotional escalation.
Unfortunately, some organizations and individuals may capitalize on these emotionally charged situations to push specific agendas or even misrepresent research to support their narrative. (5) Whether for financial gain, political leverage, or ideological influence, certain groups may intentionally stoke these collective fears for their own benefit – a common marketing strategy. By spreading cherry-picked data, exaggerated stories, or emotionally manipulative content, they can fuel the fire of social contagion, especially when it comes to youth and their use of technology.
For example, advocacy groups seeking to ban tech and social media for young people may highlight tragic but isolated incidents to provoke fear among parents and caregivers. While these incidents are real and heartbreaking, focusing solely on extreme cases without addressing the broader context misrepresents the risks. These narratives can quickly gain traction, overshadowing evidence that points to more balanced approaches to technology and social media use.
This tactic is effective because it preys on parent’s and caregiver’s natural instincts to protect their children. When fear takes hold, the desire for immediate action often outweighs the inclination to seek out and analyze complex data – especially when such academic data is not easily understood by many parents and caregivers. This emotional override can result in public pressure on policymakers to enact laws or regulations that, while well-intentioned, may not align with what the broader evidence suggests is actually best for kids.
It’s not just fear that drives us. Hope, love, and overconfidence in our children’s abilities can also distort our interpretation of facts. Some parents and caregivers may believe their child is immune to online dangers because they are “good kids” or well-behaved. (6) This belief might make them less likely to monitor their child’s online activities or engage in open conversations about potential risks. Despite clear evidence that even the most responsible children can make mistakes online, the emotional confidence in their child’s invulnerability can prevent parents from taking necessary precautions.
A psychological phenomenon known as cognitive bias also plays a role in this. Cognitive bias refers to the tendency for our brain to filter information through personal experience, which can lead to errors in judgment. The “it won’t happen to my child” mindset is a form of this bias. Even when faced with statistics showing that “some” online threats are real, parents might dismiss the evidence because they believe their child is different, less susceptible, or better equipped to handle challenges than the average child.
At The White Hatter, we recognize that the onlife world is a complex, rapidly evolving landscape that can understandably trigger emotional responses from parents. It’s normal to feel worried about your child’s exposure to social media and technology, but we believe that decisions should not be made solely on fear or emotion.
Our approach is to look at all the research, analyze it critically, and make sense of it so that parents can understand it. We sift through the data, deciphering which studies are based on good science and which may be less rigorous or sensationalized. We know that this can be a confusing and overwhelming task for parents, so we break down the information into clear, actionable insights for those who follow us.
Once we’ve gathered and made sense of the evidence, we provide recommendations based on what the good, evidence-based research actually says – not on emotion or fear-based narratives. Our goal is to help parents make informed decisions that are grounded in good evidence, offering balanced strategies to navigate the digital landscape. Whether it’s guidance on how to introduce tech and social media responsibly in an age-appropriate way, what to do when kids encounter inappropriate content, or how to have ongoing conversations about digital literacy, we always base our advice on what the good evidence supports.
The key is not just protecting children from all risk (an impossible task) but empowering them, and you as parents or caregivers, to navigate the online world confidently and safely.
Parenting in today’s onlife world is challenging. Our emotions, while a powerful force for good, can sometimes lead us to make decisions that aren’t in line with the evidence available to us. Social contagion can magnify these emotions, pushing us toward collective decisions that are based more on fear than fact. By acknowledging the role that fear, worry, and even hope play in our choices, and by recognizing how those emotions can spread, we can shift toward more balanced, fact-driven approaches that better serve our children.
At The White Hatter, we are committed to helping parents and caregivers see through the fear and focus on the facts. By grounding decisions in good evidence-based research, we can all ensure our children are not just safer, but also empowered to thrive in today’s online world. When we lean into both love and logic, we equip ourselves and our children with the tools to navigate this complex onlife world with confidence.
We understand that it’s not easy for parents and caregivers to filter through the avalanche of information, conflicting advice, and emotional click-bait narratives that often surround the topic of children and social media. That’s why we take a comprehensive, evidence-based approach, analyzing a wide range of studies, reports, and data so that you don’t have to. We recognize that emotions are an important part of parenting, but when it comes to making decisions that impact your child’s safety and well-being in the digital world, facts and evidence should matter and be the guiding force to help us make informed decisions.
Our mission is to empower youth, teens, parents, and caregivers with the knowledge and tools necessary to make well-informed decisions. We break down complex research into digestible insights and offer actionable strategies that parents and caregivers can implement in their everyday lives. Whether it’s navigating conversations about social media use, understanding the risks and benefits of technology, or learning how to cultivate digital literacy skills in children, our goal is to support families in building a healthy relationship with technology.
As we continue to explore this important topic, we invite you to join the conversation, share your thoughts, and engage with us as we work together to ensure that children can navigate the digital landscape safely, responsibly, and with confidence. By prioritizing good science over fear and emotional responses, we can foster a more informed, resilient community for both parents and children alike.
By taking the time to understand both our emotional responses and the evidence available, we can find a balance that allows us to protect our children while giving them the freedom and knowledge to thrive in today’s onlife world. It’s about creating an environment where decisions are made with both heart and mind and where emotion informs our concern, but evidence guides our actions!
Digital Food For Thought
The White Hatter
Facts not Fear, Facts Not Emotion, Enlighten Not Frighten, Know Tech Not No Tech
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