CAVEAT – This is a FREE web book for all to access! If you enjoy this resource, please feel free to donate what you can using the “Donate” button at the bottom of this webpage.  These donations help us to research and create more free resources like this for parents, caregivers, and educators to access. Even if you can’t donate that’s ok, please enjoy this resource and all the other resources that we offer for free!

Introduction to Our Web Book on Digital Literacy & Internet Safety

When we first decided to write this book, we debated between publishing a traditional book or a web book. Considering how the “onlife world” is always evolving, we worried that a traditional book would quickly become outdated. For those unfamiliar, “onlife world” is a term coined by Professor Luciano Floridi at the University of Oxford. It describes how information and communication technologies are transforming human life. Unlike the older generation who distinguish between the online and offline worlds, today’s youth see no such divide, making the term “onlife world” quite fitting.

Previously, we published an award-winning paper book through a professional publisher. This time, we chose to self-publish and take on the roles of both editor and publisher. It was a challenging yet rewarding learning experience. As this is our first self-published web book, we ask for your patience with any grammatical or editorial errors we may have missed.

Because the onlife world is constantly changing, we opted for a web book format. This allows us to continuously update its content as digital literacy evolves. We aim to provide timeless principles of social media safety, security, online privacy, and digital literacy that can be applied in various onlife situations. Our goal is to offer an enlightening, not frightening, perspective, grounded in evidence-based, peer-reviewed academic research rather than fear-driven moral panic.

Too often, discussions about social media focus on the negative, leading to unnecessary parental anxiety without helping our teens. Yes, there are challenges and dangers online that parents and kids need to be aware of, which we will address. However, we will also present evidence showing that there is more good happening online than bad, and it’s crucial for parents to recognize and acknowledge this. Interestingly, teens are already aware of many safety concerns and are creating safer, self-moderated online communities on platforms like Twitch and Discord, offering positive validation and a sense of belonging.

Good digital citizenship provides youth with a significant advantage in future academic and career opportunities. Parents need to guide this digital literacy process, but to do so, we must understand the onlife world together.

Is the sky really falling when it comes to our kids and social media? Let’s allow evidence-based research, not emotion, to guide us in our onlife journey with our kids. This is the goal of our web book.

Our experience shows that most kids are doing incredible things online, contrary to what you may hear in the media. In today’s onlife world, youth use digital media and technology to explore, connect, create, and learn in ways we only dreamed of.

Some of you may not agree with everything we share, but we hope this web book will help change your perspective. While there are bad places online and some teens engage in mischief, the majority are not, and parents need to start acknowledging this. A 2022 PEW research study found that most teenagers believe social media has strengthened their friendships and provided support, despite its emotionally charged nature . http://bit.ly/3RVqemW 

One challenge parents face is the “parental digital divide.” Today’s pre-teens and teens, known as Generation Z or Gen-Z, were born and raised with technology and don’t see a difference between the online and offline world. For them, it’s just one world—the onlife world.

It’s surprising to think that the first iPhone was released on June 29, 2007. Many of us parents, especially those labeled “Boomers” by Gen-Z (even if we’re not baby boomers), are digital newcomers who still see a difference between the online and offline worlds. This digital divide can cause anxiety due to the fear of the unknown and the perceived unmediated nature of the onlife world.

As millennials active in the digital world, onlife parenting of our son was a new challenge. The onlife world didn’t exist for our parents when we were teens, so we had no one to turn to for advice. We’ve parented the onlife world through trial and error and want to share our experiences with you. Encouragingly, the digital divide for today’s millennials will be smaller when raising their kids because they can apply their own onlife world experiences from their youth.

UPDATE Aug 2024:

For years, the narrative has been that today’s parents are the first generation tasked with raising children in an online world with very little if any experience to do so. Yes, this perspective was particularly true for Millennial parents, who came of age alongside the internet’s explosive growth in the 1990s and 2000s. However, as we move further into the 2020s, this statement no longer holds true. The landscape of parenthood is changing and post -millennials, commonly known as Gen Z, are the first cohort to grow up fully immersed in digital technology, they are now stepping into the role of being the digital parent and caregiver.

When the internet and technology first became widespread amongst youth, Millennials and older generations faced the daunting challenge of navigating a digital world with no prior blueprint, roadmap, or experience. They were tasked with figuring out everything from online safety, security, and privacy, to managing screen use with their kids while grappling with the same issues in their own lives. This was the era of trial and error, the wild, wild west of the early internet and technology where parents attempted to learn alongside their children, often making mistakes as they embarked on this digital journey.

However, Gen Z has a fundamentally different relationship with technology. Born roughly between 1997 and 2012, they are the first generation to grow up with iPhones, social media, and constant internet access as a teen. For them, the digital world is not something to adapt to – it’s something they’ve always known. Now, as they become parents, they bring a unique set of skills and perspectives that distinguish them from previous generations of parents.

We have found that most Gen Z parents are more digitally literate – they have grown up in an environment where the internet and social media have been fully integrated into their lives. This firsthand familiarity with technology provides them with an intuitive understanding of the benefits and pitfalls of digital life or what we like to call the “onlife” world. They know firsthand the power of social media to connect and the potential dangers of online misinformation, cyberbullying, privacy breaches, and online toxicity.

Unlike their Millennial predecessors who had to learn about online risks as adults, many Gen Z parents and caregivers have been educated on these issues from a young age. They have experienced the consequences of oversharing online, dealt with cyberbullying, online toxicity, and navigated the complexities of personal digital dossiers. This firsthand experience allows them to approach parenting with a level of digital literacy and knowledge that previous generations did not have and could only acquire over time.

Because of their onlife upbringing, we are finding that Gen Z parents are likely to approach parenting differently than previous generations. They are more likely to be proactive in setting digital boundaries for their children, such as using parental controls, monitoring online activity, ensuring the right access and use of technology at the right time and developmental stage, and having open conversations about online safety. They understand the importance of balance – ensuring that their children benefit from technology without becoming overwhelmed by it.

More importantly, Gen Z parents are more attuned to the ever-changing landscape of social media and digital trends. They are not just aware of the platforms their kids are using – they have probably used some of them themselves. This familiarity allows them to guide their children through the digital world more effectively, providing advice that is both relevant and informed.

However, despite their comfort with technology, Gen Z parents will still face challenges. The onlife world is constantly evolving, and with it, new risks and opportunities emerge. The rapid pace of technological change means that even Gen Z parents and caregivers must stay vigilant and adaptable. Gen Z parents will need to navigate issues like AI-driven content, new apps, and the increasing ubiquitous integration of technology into everyday life. This is something that we here at the White Hatter specialize in and help parents and caregivers with.

Additionally, while many Gen Z parents may be more comfortable with technology, they will also need to ensure that their children develop healthy relationships with it, so that their kids are less likely to make the same mistakes they did when they were pre-teens and teens. This includes fostering digital literacy, encouraging critical thinking, and promoting a balanced lifestyle that includes offline activities and face-to-face interactions.

Anecdotally, we have observed that some Gen Z parents and caregivers who had limited exposure to technology during their youth may approach the “onlife” world with increased caution or even fear when it comes to their children today. We believe that this apprehension often arises from their own lack of experience with technology and the internet during their teenage years. When coupled with headlines that sensationalize the risks associated with technology use, this can further heighten their sense of unease, leading them to adopt a more defensive approach to onlife parenting.

In contrast, we have found that Gen Z parents who grew up with technology, tend to adopt a more balanced approach. Because of their experiences, they recognize the importance of setting boundaries while also appreciating the value that technology can bring to their children’s lives. These parents are more likely to engage in open conversations about online safety, helping their children navigate digital spaces responsibly together. They view technology as a tool for entertainment, education, communication, and connection, embracing its opportunities while remaining mindful of its challenges and dangers. By fostering this balance, we have found that many Gen Z parents are better equipped to guide their children through the onlife world with greater confidence and resiliency.

With Gen Z stepping into the role of parent and caregiver, we are entering a new era of digital parenting – one where today’s parent and caregiver has likely grown up with the similar technologies that their child is using today.

As Gen Z parents navigate this landscape, they will bring a depth of understanding and experience that previous generations of parents lacked. While they will face their own unique challenges for sure, their comfort with technology will be a valuable asset in raising today’s generation of youth to be more digitally literate.

Given their comfort with navigating the onlife world and leveraging its benefits, today’s Gen Z parent is likely to extend their technological experience into their parenting practices. However, they are also acutely aware of the need to balance digital convenience with the essential human elements of parenting. Having witnessed firsthand how their own parent’s excessive use of digital devices sometimes disrupted family interactions, they recognize the importance of maintaining genuine human connections. We are finding that Gen Z parents are committed to ensuring that their children grow up in an environment that is not only technologically enriched and diverse, but also deeply connected on a human level, redefining parenting norms with more progressive practices surrounding digital literacy.

The future of parenting in today’s “onlife” world is now guided by those who have grown up fully immersed in it – and in our professional opinion, that’s a transformative and positive shift that will benefit all our kids in today’s onlife world.

Remember, our role as a parent when it comes to shepherding and mentoring our kids about tech and the onlife world – prepare them for their future, and not the realities of our past. “Back in my day we didn’t have cellphones” is not a phrase that has relevance in today’s onlife world.  As Gary Kimbrough stated in a tweet:

“Intergenerational carping is one of our great human traditions as parents, like storytelling, or artwork.  With it, we relieve anxiety around aging and mortality and congratulate ourselves on being better than our replacements. The young may inherit the earth, but we will tell them they’re doing it wrong until our very last breaths.”

Parenting Tip

Just because our kids have been raised and digitally acclimated to the onlife world does not mean they are digitally literate.  Often Gen-Z lack the life experience to apply digital literacy, and that is something that parents and caregivers can bring to family discussions surrounding the onlife world.  Yes, Gen-Z has the digital tools, and generally the know-how to make them work, but the question is can they use them appropriately and reasonably?

Tech, Neuroplasticity, and The Brain

As a family, we became very aware of how infant and youth brains are very malleable to environmental demands, and thus, the brain can rewire itself to learn new skills. A part of this journey was a book recommended to us by our neurologist called, “The Brain That Changes Itself” https://amzn.to/3xYsj9C which dives deeply into the science behind what is called neuroplasticity. Because the human brain is malleable, especially among youth, repetition of skills can induce long-term changes in the structure of the brain https://www.nature.com/articles/nn.2412

So, what does this have to do with technology – research is starting to emerge showing that there may be an association between the amount of time a person spends on the Internet, what they are doing with that time (passive vs active), and how the amount of time spent online could cause changes in the brain.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6502424/

According to this emerging research, there is a possibility that heavy online use could either have a positive or negative effect on brain structure, function and therefore cognitive processes depending upon age. As the above-noted study stated:

“This may be of particular relevance to the developing brains of children and adolescents, as many cognitive processes (particularly those relevant to higher executive functions and social cognition) are not entirely innate, but rather are strongly influenced by environmental factors” (like the amount of time spent on the internet and social media).

This 2019 study also found – heavy use  of the Internet and social media (they didn’t define what “heavy use” was) could be influencing our brain’s cognitive process in a negative way specific to:

• Sustained focus, and
• memory processing

Both of these can lead to memory deficits where a user can have the challenge of deciding what information is important enough to remember. https://bit.ly/3xWpRR9

However, the study also stated:

“the opposite may be true in older adults experiencing cognitive decline, for whom the online environment may provide a new source of positive cognitive stimulation. For instance, Internet searching engaged more neural circuitry than reading text pages in Internet savvy older adults (aged 55‐76 years). Furthermore, experimental studies have found that computer games available online and through smartphones can be used to attenuate aging‐related cognitive decline. Thus, the Internet may present a novel and accessible platform for adults to maintain cognitive function throughout old age. Building from this, successful cognitive aging has previously been shown to be dependent upon learning and deploying cognitive strategies, which can compensate for aging‐related decline in “raw” memory capacities. This has previously been referred to as optimizing internal cognitive processes (e.g., through mnemonic strategies), or taking advantage of cognitive offloading in traditional formats (list making, transactive memory, etc.). Nonetheless, as Internet‐based technologies become more deeply integrated with our daily cognitive processing (through smartphones, wearables, etc.), digital natives could feasibly develop forms of “online cognition” in the aging brain, whereby older adults can increasingly take advantage of web‐based transactive memory and other emerging online processes to fulfil (or even exceed)” the typical capacities of a younger brain.

Our takeaway from this emerging field of research:

• It appears that heavy “passive” use of technology, the internet, and social media by youth may cause changes in brain structure, function, and cognitive processing ability. Having said this, we do not yet know if this will have long-term positive or negative consequences, but it’s enough of a concern that it should be flagged by parents.

• The opposite may be true in older adults experiencing cognitive decline, for whom the online environment may provide a new source of positive cognitive stimulation

• Yes, it appears that the use of technology can affect human brain malleability, especially among youth, repetition of skills can induce long-term changes in the structure of the brain. No matter if it is the use of technology https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19820707/  or learning a new motor skill like juggling  https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/25542777/

Another interesting trend – how some media will actually misrepresent or skew the findings of a research study to create what is known as “clickbait”.  A good example was a study that was reported in a Canadian newspaper that stated:

“Children who have more than two hours of screen time daily are more likely to display ADHD symptoms, study says.”

This clickbait headline intimates a “causation” that screen time can cause ADHD. The actual title of the scientific article was “Screen-time is associated with inattention problems in preschoolers: Results from the CHILD birth cohort study.” Contextually a BIG difference!  In fact, nowhere in the actual research do the authors use the word “cause.” They specifically identified what they believe to be a correlation to inattention problems. Again, a BIG difference!

I’m also confident that when these researchers submitted their study for publication in 2018, they were unaware of research by Oxford University on this topic that had been published; one of the largest longitudinal cohort studies of its kind. In fact, we could not find the Oxford study in their references. Why is this important, because the Oxford study found:

“examining data from over 350,000 teenagers and parents in the UK and USA. At most, only 0.4% of adolescent wellbeing is related to screen use”

Also, in the media article, it was reported that this new research supports the Canadian Pediatrics’ position on screen time, but yet later in the article it stated,

“Michelle Ponti, a London, Ont., a pediatrician who chairs the Canadian Pediatric Society’s digital health task force and was not involved in the new study, said some of its findings should be taken with a grain of salt.”

Why did Mr. Ponti say this, because the British Royal College of Pediatrics and Child Health, the first pediatrics organization in the world to suggest screen time limits, which Canada adopted https://bit.ly/3OAW6L9, had now changed its position on screen time, based upon current research, as did many other pediatric organizations around the world? It’s not about how much time your child spends online, it’s what they are doing with that time that is most important, it’s all about balance, and this is something we will be speaking to in-depth later in this e-book.

So, what does this all mean? Based on the best research out there to date, it appears that screen time has little effect on the mental health functioning of the majority of youth. Screen time doesn’t cause ADHD.  What good research shows us is that we are born with ADHD. Having said this, parents should be alive to the fact that they should not be using technology as a “digital babysitter” or “digital pacifier”, which only acts like digital bubble gum for the brain. At young ages, organize screen time into reasonable limits that meet your family’s needs and beliefs, and use it as an adjunct to learning. Again, Sesame Street (positive learning) vs Sponge Bob Square Pants (bubble gum for the brain) analogy applies.